Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Relactate

Monday
After I dropped Athena in school, I stayed in mom's place for a few hours. There, Aricia needed to be fed twice. I didn't use the SNS but kindda latch her on me first; she latched and then got lazy (her suckle is not strong). After which I gave her her formula in a bottle.

2.30pm - appointment with Uma
Aricia was not ready to drink so I walked around Tanglin Mall until her next feed. Did tell Uma my menses came back yesterday so there could be hormonal changes and maybe longer for milk to come in. Then she dropped the bomb " when your menses come, your milk supply dips further." So much for my effort in trying to relactate her this week.
Feelings : sad

3.40pm : As observed, Aricia was crying damn loud when tried to latch her with the SNS that she probably startled some babies in another room, where a group of expatriates mothers met & chatted with one another + their little chubby kiddos. - very cute! (ai yoh.. I put Aricia & them side by side, she's way too small size liao)
She hates it with the SNS. Explained that she latches on properly without the tube (she knows there's some thing there), so Uma suggested latching her and then slot the tube. She sucked but not strong enough so she's not drinking. And it seems easy for Uma to slot it in for me, but it might be difficult for me to slot it in with one hand.
Uma saw Aricia crying so badly, even without her suggestion I stopped feeding and pacified her, then Uma bottle-fed her. Told me to ask helper with the bottle feeding; so that Aricia will only associate the breasts and me. How about syringing in? She said too tedious, no need.
Advice :
1) latch her on, slot tube in later
2) if she keeps crying... never mind, give her bottle first then go on SNS. Most importantly is the child must have the feed. Satisfy her, then put her on SNS
3) put her to breasts at every feed, even if it means just stimulating it (but must be efficient suckling) And pumping after her feed. Okay I must figure how if I can cope with feeding on breasts/ or SNS, then if cannot continue with bottle, then pump. Then less than an hour later the cycle begins again.

5.30pm
Tried what Uma suggested, latch and slot tube. Goash! She kindda closed in on her latching so it's wrong already and can't slot in. Tried again she 'complained', tried again she opened her mouth wanting to cry; I quickly slot in tube. Even before I could tape it down with one hand , in her frantic cries she tugged on the tube and it came off. Shit! Milk dripped on bedsheet. Stopped flow.. then she refuses to suckle on me.
Damn stupid but had to pour back again the remaining untouched amount back to the bottle to bottle feed her.
Pumped or should I say manually squeezed that little milk I have.

7.40pm
Thank goodness I finished my dinner, she woke up early and cried in hunger. Ok... lesson learnt :don't pour the whole amount of milk into SNS. So this time I thought since she didn't drink, I'll put in 20ml for her.
And you know what?!?! She was drinking!!! She cried when it finished and pouted her lips at me. I had to put her down on bed to refill the rest of the milk in, she cried and then refused to drink from me. Her milk in bottle has turned cold, didn't want to wait further (for me to warm it up again) so no choice gave her the milk. Pray hard she don't get 'wind' in her stomach.

9+pm
Had the SNS slinged around me, but I kindda pitied her so simply put her on me and she was suckling (dunno what... not much milk left) hard. You see lah! Now when she's suckling hard, I put her on SNS and she gets interrupted & angry that she refuses. I tell you my girl has got a personality man! Oh boy! Another failure.

Tuesday
The mother was so tired that she didn't even hear her crying for milk in the morning. Suppose to offer her but was deep in sleep....

10.25am / 1.05pm / 3.15pm / 4.55pm / 7.35pm / 9+pm
She was on SNS but didn't suckle hard. I cheated, I jumpstart the flow for her by squeezing the bottle for her. Then the amount is still there. Despite trying (and almost dozing off myself) for the next 15 minutes, the amount in SNS remains the same. Twice her hand got entangled in the tube, once she pulled out the tube and milk dripped (again!) on bedsheet. All the struggling was no use.
Then decided to feed her from bottle. But she wasn't crying so I warmed up the milk in a cup while I continued to let her 'suckle for fun' on me. Fed her, she was very happy after that.
Pumped : still that small amount. Must remember milk supply dropped due to menses and this is only Day 2 so ....still early.
But I was really tired today coz' her feed is every 2hours and by the time I finish one cycle, I have only less than an hour to the next feed. Then thought she can gimme a break, she wanted me to carry her. Once I wanted to keep her quiet, I let her suckle for fun while I lie down on bed. The mother ended up dozing off for less than 10 minutes until the little one 'complained '

Is it a waste of time? Now I see the main problem, it's her latching. And I guess I have to agree with Uma that once a child gets older, it's difficult to train her back. If breastfeeding her 100% is too ambitious on my part (since I am quite committed to the older girl's activities), even if it means I gotta supplement 50% or more, I don't mind. I just want to give her a little more milk than what she's getting from me now.
Hope it's a better start tomorrow. And should I carry out my threats on Athena "no more staying in Tampines"?? And let her stay there for the intended week ? Or should I go back to my normal routine but do it in a relaxed and optimistic way now? - suck when she wants; don't get too stressed up. But then again, it's like I'm giving up when I've hardly done anything.

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