Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Ingrate daughter

I dunno where and how to begin this..

I've got an ingrate daughter, one who doesn't appreciate or think about her parents. I have only left her at mom's place on Monday night, which was yesterday and she didn't even want to speak to us on the phone yesterday & today.
In other words, to sum up how I feel is "hurting to my feelings", yes I should be happy and lucky that my daughter can stay in my mom's place besides my home. I should be thankful that my mom and family are willing to take over for the one day to help me take care of Athena while I do a sanity check and rest more/ concentrate on the little mousey girl. I should be thankful that my daughter don't mind & can stay over in mom's place other than our place (which can serve as a backup place should we need to go on a trip without her)
Could it be due to my hormonal changes again - going through some kind of depression/ rejection etc.. ? Why did I get so frustrated all of a sudden?

There are occasions when I leave her at my mom's place, she wouldn't want to talk to me at all. There are days when she'll talk to me very excitedly & end the phonecall with a "goodnight mummy, I love you mummy."
For the past 2 occasions, she didn't want to speak to me and didn't even want to speak to hubby. What's the meaning of this? Although she aint close to the dad coz' she spends more time with me; dad out bringing bacon home but it's her dad leh!
To think that hubby always asks me "why let her stay in Tampines? bring her back everyday, don't care if she cries." (To me, I don't mind letting her stay once in a while coz' she won't have the chance to stay there once she starts Primary school. But to have one who totally forgets her own mother & father is unspeakable. Also, sometimes she cries way too disturbing that I can't concentrate in my driving) Today he told me "heck lah, she dowan to come back home, we dowan her lah. Ungrateful girl; throw her away, we pamper on this little one." Now I know what mom means when she casually mentioned that it's really heartbreaking if one day your child turned against you or totally ignored you despite the effort you put in to raise him/her up for the past 20 years. Although my incident is a very small matter but it is enough to break my heart, let alone something of a bigger scale. I think I will jump off the building man!

Anyway, to sum it up. I was rather angry with her. She then called again to say she wants to speak to me but then ended up holding onto the phone without an utter; then another time apologized to me (of course with the urging from my family). Both times I couldn't be bothered to talk to her and simply hung up the phone on her. I've never felt so hurt with her, although I know everyone will tell me.. "come on, she's only a child." But somehow deep inside me..... I feel ..... she doesn't have a place in her heart for her mummy/daddy? It's always her dua-gu, dua-kim and ma-ma. Would you consider it to be jealousy from me? Have I gone overboard with my reaction?

Feelings : Very sad

No comments: