24th-Tue or 25th Jan-Wed 2006
Found out I was pregnant. In October, we will have a new addition to complete our family.
Sometime in Feb 2006
We spread the good news to our family members
Months before
Excited, but perhaps the excitement is not as great as when expecting the first.
Had to think of names. Debating between Alethea and Aricia, and we finally chose the latter
Didn't buy alot of things as many things can be passed down. But of course had to buy a small hat to keep head warm; a dress or 2 for the full-month celebration and small nitty gritty stuffs
9th Sep 2006-Sat
Doc. said bb is small.. made me so worried, and I'm trying hard to put on extra pounds for her. Athena asked me when is baby coming out. I answered "In 10 days time". She started counting 1, 2, 3, 4..... until I told her it's in 10 days not 10 seconds
10th Sep 2006-Sun
Was changing the daily cards, when I changed the date from 9th to 10th. Athena told me "mummy, mummy today is 10. Today mei-mei come out."
11th Sep 2006 to 15th Sep 2006
Getting more tired now, so resting as much as I can in the afternoons. Cancelled all appointments with friends. Gluttony me just had to eat as much as I can, as I will be starting my confinement soon - and can't eat alot of stuffs. Wilma(Aricia's godma) sms-ed me on Monday -11th and told me her friend was in the same situation as me. Her doc recommended Ensure and she gained weight. I hope it helps me, I can only find out on the 16th whether it's all gone to her or to me.
13th Sep 2006- Wed
Last lesson which I can bring Athena for her music lesson. After which mom will help me take over, well she has some basic music knowledge so should be able to help me better as compared to asking KZ - who thinks it's play time for her. Helen, Amanda's mummy, and myself as usual would have a short chat after lesson; asked if I'd be keeping the placenta. I doubt so.... it'll make me scared. And.........I don't even have a conventional oven, how to bake??
15th Sep 2006- Fri
Athena made me lose my temper in the morning, threatened not to bring her out gai-gai later in the evening. But went soft and brought her out of school at 4.30pm. It's my last jalan-jalan ritual, and one of the last few moments I can spend a twosome quality time with Athena.
Gorged myself full at Jack's Place. Felt bad as I wanted to treat them but brother picked up the tab, as they kindda asked the preggie me where I wanted to go. I know it's like my last good meal... so I better EAT! Had my lobster bisque and grilled chicken. Finished all the celery and corns on the plate, but couldn't finish the backed potato. Wanted to have some desserts, but..... due for prick test tomorrow morning. So hang on until Saturday, I'll probably have a scoop or 2 of Haagen Dazs or B&Jerrys. Before I left for home, I had to ta-pao rice dumplings to eat on Saturday afternoon, Sunday and then I'll pop on Tuesday.
Mom's newly assigned duty :- check with the medical hall lady if during confinement can eat glutinous rice for breakfast; what kind of fruits; can eat chocolates; can eat the big pao which father bought from JB. Mom said "I've never seen such a glutton like you, still thinking about food during confinement." I thought to myself - thank goodness this is my last pregnancy, so I'll probably suffer for the very last time.
16th Sep 2006-Sat
Obstetrician appointment today, very happy that Aricia is eating alot from me within a week period. Only 3 more days and we will see Aricia. How will she look like? Does she have alot of hair? Double-eyelids? Many thoughts ran through my mind. Getting more excited now. Athena has been wanting me more, so I hope I can get as much help to keep her entertained while I rest.
17th Sep 2006-Sun
2 more days and we will get to see Aricia. I thought the sooner I get over this, the better it is - coz' I've been trying to find a comfortable way to sleep. When I sleep on my back, my back aches and it's not supposed to be good for my back. So I turned to the side, I have my small pillow to support beneathe the tummy but I don't know why the tummy seems to be heavier. And it makes my sides ache. Throughout the nights about two months before, I've had short sleeps; wake up to turn myself to change position; by the time I am about to doze off I feel the side ache and it goes on...Fortunately, I'm still able to take afternoon naps & rest as much as I can.
Before we napped, hubby suggested going somewhere good for our dinner with chilli crabs. "Otherwise you cannot eat during your confinement period." Very sweet of him to think of me, he knew he married a glutton, and I've been ranting to him about "I'm going to eat as much as I can now. Durians, restaurants, good food.." I told him "haha!I'm the one going into confinement, sounded like you are going into confinement with me." "For you lor..." In the end, we didn't go coz' Athena was screaming in the car "Daddy where are you going? I want to go Rivervale Mall, I dowan to buy Kueh Tutu." Even when hubby pretended and kept on the straight road; she screamed at daddy to "turn left. Daddy turn left." Anyway, it didn't matter to me, I wasn't really carving for Chilli Crabs. But I'm just so touched by hubby's kind intention. I had Chicken Cutlet . And you know what? 4 years ago, just one day before I had to be in hospital to be induced, I also had that. We had a good laugh.
Told KZ "you have to cook all my favourite food tomorrow night." "Ok mum".
Told KZ "you have to cook all my favourite food tomorrow night." "Ok mum".
18th Sep 2006- Mon
I don't know why but I didn't really sleep well through the night. Alot of things went through my mind. What if.. what if I don't wake up from surgery. Choy! Then my poor children are motherless, maybe Athena will be happy that no one will be screaming & smacking her.
On the other hand, I was also getting excited as I will be seeing Aricia tomorrow. Will she cry as loud as her sister? - Until mom can recognise her cries even though she just heard it for a short while. I start recalling 4 years ago, as the nurse pushes the plastic cot from the nursery to my room. What I heard was the wheels running sound and Athena crying "wah wah...." 4 years later, my girl has grown big and I can't imagine her to be an elder sister. I wonder how she'll behave tomorrow - smiling; shy to touch her little sister?
The journey of 9 months is finally coming to an end. I must say in retrospect that I've enjoyed both pregnancies. And both times I enjoyed having them in me, experiencing the miracles of life. It shall be my last time holding onto this memory (unless accidents happen - I hope not!), so though I want her to come out; on the other hand I want to let her feel more secured in me.
Call me a strange mummy.
Went for check-up to gear up for tomorrow. And then I just gotta have my fill at Spageddies. I was already extremely full but I needed to eat my fill, so had my share of Tiramisu. I'm satisfied!
Athena lost her favourite teddy bear in the night. We went on a bear hunt in both Punggol and Tampines. On one hand, I was telling her "good! teaches you a lesson on taking care of your things." yet on the other hand, I felt sad for her coz' she had that teddy bear when she was little.
19th Sep 2006-Tue
Didn't sleep well last night, was thinking and thinking about her stupid bear. Felt excited but I just don't know why felt so paranoid about the 'will I wake up'? part. The family, including KZ left the house at 8am, anticipating he morning rush hour jam in CTE. We cabbed down so we were indeed lucky that a cab came by just as Titus walked ahead of us.
Arrived in Dr Teoh's clinic for a last scan & it's my last time seeing her blurry image. "I'll be seeing you soon Aricia" - I told her. They gave me the thumbs up and I went down to the Admissions. Then they told us "I'm sorry but our single rooms is taken up, we'll put in the double-bedded first and once if there's a single room available we'll put you back. But if there's no room for the night and you move to the single-bed the next day, we still charge you the single-bedded rate." Darn! What good money-making method!! But what can I do? I had to accept whatever room is available now.
Took a mother-daughter shot before I have another daughter to handle. Here's us!
Then the concierge came to help me to the room. Asked if I needed a wheelchair, "ah...no way! Let me walk first coz' I'll be fully bedded after that." Was brought into the room, where it's already occupied. And the woman had her TV volume so loud, not even reducing it when I was there.
Time : 1000hrs
Nurses came by to do some paperwork and checks
Time : 1045hrs
Came by to give me enema. And.......you know what happens after that.
Time : 1138hrs
Athena started feeling the separation anxiety and was crying "I want mummy" even louder.And even insisted that I bring her to the toilet for a pee, no one else can take over the job. Then wheeled me to the OT with hubby carrying Athena; KZ and mom following. Mom's handphone rang - it was brother who called to tell me not to worry. The push to the OT seems long,I was nervous- playing with my fingers just like how Athena would do so when she's nervous. And I swear just by looking at those white ceiling lights makes me giddy as they pushed me along.
I think they all can sense my anxiety. Even the staff in the Observation Ward noticed it, they came and assured me. Then I was told of the news that Dr Teoh had a surgery which turned into emergency case, and it's taking longer than usual. He can only start the surgery at 1220hrs. I hope he can make it in time during the time framce, but then if it's meant that Aricia's born later and her fate changes then we have no choice. The wait seems an eternity, I was singing to Aricia and she responded to my singing. I hope it's not the last time I can feel this. You might think I'm paranoid - but it's true! The staffs thought it was my first time but I told them my earlier delivery was also by C-section. But at that time, it was natural turned emergency I had no time to react and think stupid things.
They finally pushed me into the OT. It looks scary.. I had time to look around me. To my right there was a sliding door and there was a surgery going on in the next theatre. But too far for me to hear what they're saying. I better not hear it too, it'll freak me out!To my left, there was this silvery big panel with a clock and some other dunno what things. Infront of me was two big UFOs lights - that can light up the whole world - and behind the last light from me, is a multi-plugs adapter. Wow!
Socks put on. They covered me with something heavy. Dr Woo came in her gown, came to inject something into my left hand. Said they're putting a leg massager & if I can feel it. And then they put on the mask... Wait! I don't think I saw Dr Teoh coming in or did he?-just as I was about to lose consciousness. I heard Dr Woo's voice "you breathe in, breathe out, breathe in ................."
I didn't dream of anything this time. Everything was a white blank. When I was under sedation with Athena,I was walking in a path with trees lined on the side, like Winter Sonata. But even before I could walk to the next tree, I woke up.
All I heard was "LilyAnn, you have a baby girl" (sounded like Nora's voice but she said it was not her. I probably heard her voice before I fell fast asleep. And strange what I heard before happened again this time. The only difference is I didn't feel a pipe being pulled out from my throat, and my throat didn't hurt either. And then I started mumbling rubbish. I heard mom's voice saying "she's coming off her anethesia, she's talking rubbish and she's repeating everything." I think back of what I said was really hilarious - but it shows I was okay.
Things I mumbled : 1) Am I dreaming or is it real? I have the same thing happening now.
2) Is that you Aveline?Or am I dreaming."
3) You are Jesline, and you are wearing XXXX. Aveline is wearing XXXX. (I heard them laughing)
4) It's 3plus now.
5) How come I'm hearing Athena's voice. It sounds the same as before and that time Athena was not even born what!!!"
6) You are Kai Zet. You mean I hired you already?"
7) Why is Titus's sleeping here. I'm supposed to be the one who's tired not him!
8) I want to change to single room. Just now that lady turn on her TV so loud, I cannot sleep. I want to change room.
Oh yes! The very first sentence I really mumbled out was "I'm not going to give birth anymore. Giving birth is so painful. I don't want anymore children".
In between my rubbish mumblings. I kept bringing up my left hand to see the cathethar, went back and thought 'yes, I'm not dreaming'and "ouch! it's painful". Then turned to look on my right to see the room number on the cupboard.
I then heard the phone ring, hubby said "oh, good so you have a room available now. Okay, we'll wait. I had no idea how long we waited but I was still feeling groggy when they wheeled me out of the room. And twice or thrice, they didn't move properly, they bump into something and I felt the pain. After some time, I think about 4plus I was more aware of what's happening around me. I knew I was in my room and people started coming in. Infact, as I'm typing now, I'm still feeling giddy and numb, they said it'll take some time for me to be 'normal' again.
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