Yesterday after her music lesson, I was mad with Athena. I felt bad when Grace greeted me outside the studio, I responded but didn't act as friendly as the week before. Why? Coz' I was mad and I am about to strangle/kill my girl. Of course I had to keep my hands clean and kill her out of everybody's sight so that I can clear any evidence!
And why was I mad with that girl? She's been making the same mistake over and over again. And thing is, she has already overcome the mistake at home (after all the scolding & threaten to use the cane) and she was "fooling around in the class" and didn't do properly.Worst still, Peggy (teacher) knew it was her and told her so many times; all the other children were doing okay. Then she kept turning her head looking at her friends when they're doing solfege at the piano. At first it was a smile thinking it's so playful of her, then it became a grin, then it was an angry grin, finally it became a murderer look.When Peggy repeated the solfege singing (ah... she was shouting) & made stupid mistake again!! Again, correction from Peggy. And Peggy kept telling her "sing don't shout!" At that time, I feel like running out from where I am and smack her in the mouth.
The anger in me welled up that I couldn't wait till we get back home to scold her. I drove to the carpark behind the swimming pool and gave her a scolding in the car for the next 40 mins over what happened in the lesson and all the behaviours that I have been tolerating from her for everything else at home.
When we got back home, I walked into the house all quiet, she was quiet and hubby sensed something was wrong. Asked me why I have to scold her everytime (didn't sound pleased). As if I enjoy scolding her like that, if he thinks he makes a better parent than me - then he can jolly well go ahead to take over my job. Thing is, unfortunately, he himself don't even know much about values -how is he to teach a child?? And he never even bother much about her teaching her anything at all. My child will become a sam-seng kia if she's left to him.
What Master Tan said about Athena is all so true. He mentioned to us before that "这个孩子很难管.不能用暖也不能用硬." Then use what?! Want to 管教 her in everything will make me die faster. Almost the whole time I'm nagging, scolding & screaming at her with a cane. I flare up every single day, almost every hour when she's home. Maybe I should learn to be like my husband - bo chap her at all then I will not see anything and will not flare up & live longer (for sure)
Err.............remember the scolding only happened yesterday right?
This morning, was playing her music in the car. Again, she was shouting. I told her nicely "Athena, sing not shout. You've got a very nice voice, sing it don't shout." And that girl refused to sing after that and was showing tantrum. Fine! In Tampines, I asked her to get out of the car and go in to school herself since she forgot what I just scolded her last night. I am not going to bring her in. Immediately she started crying and held onto my hand. Pushed her away and refused any touch or whatever from her. It continued for 2 mins, I got fed up, went down the car and walked to the school with her running behind me. When she went in, I closed the gate and walked away. Couldn't bother about her, didn't even bother to tell her teacher that she hasn't had her breakfast. Let her go hungry for all I care! Anyway she has so much reserves in her body.
When I went to pick her up from school today, her teacher told me that Athena was running around and jumping on a chair when they were doing the Speech & Drama. I asked Athena about it in the car, and she lied "no, nothing happened today." Still defending herself when I saw her teacher scolding her in class. In the car I was raising my voice at her when Aricia got frightened and started crying; I assured Aricia that I wasn't scolding her. Wonder why she cry? My voice? Or the fact that she realised that she's born to a gila mother? Anyway, I didn't want to bother about Athena after that since she was so defensive.
KZ wanted to feed her dinner, I told her to let her eat herself. I didn't even want to get close to her obviously I didn't want to touch her at all - so KZ showered her. And all the while what was I doing? For the whole evening, I was very very relaxed coz' I deliberately didn't want to do her music lessons, assesments books, flashcards, reading. Of course she was happy coz' she didn't have to do anything. I was in the room with Aricia and was surfing & reading the news, played with Aricia, let her watch animated flashcards on my laptop. I was happy coz' I didn't felt I was rushing through my time today. I had my time to do my own things and need not get my blood pumped up and gush out from my head.
Then hubby came home, and after some time I heard Athena shouting at hubby; hubby shouted at her; she shouted back. Dunno what happened so I came out and asked. Immediately she kowtow when the Empress Dowager came out. Damn it! I've had enough from her & sent her to her punishment corner to pull her ears. Immediately she apologized & said "mummy, I won't do it again. Tomorrow I won't do it again." "only tomorrow?" "And Monday" I don't care, I pulled her to the corner and made her pull her ear. Hubby stood there (I hate it when he deliberately stand there and try to make funny faces at her. He got a scolding from me for not being serious infront of girl, otherwise she'll never obey him). She cried very loudly; kept apologizing. "mummy, tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday etc... I will not do it again." (actually quite funny... but had to control my laughter) I left her outside while I cooled myself down (laughing in the room when she kept repeating over and over again, each time the days get longer and longer). Hubby then went outside and wanted to pacify her by pulling her away, but she cried "cannot,cannot!" and ran back to the position and continued pulling her ear. So - she's afraid of me knowing that no one except me can move her (no wonder alot of times my mom says she really does listen to me. Whenever they want to give her something to eat, she'll say "my mummy say I cannot eat becoz' I'm coughing") but dunno why she simply wants to taunt me and make me so angry.
Brought her to stand infront of me while I questioned her about her nonsense and unbearable behaviour. (and I hate it when hubby sits there like trying to act he's the boss - when clearly I'm the boss coz' she's never afraid of him.Probably he's afraid I might kill her. Yah.. actually I think I would too. I was really mad for the fact that I've been getting her stupid nonsense for the longest time ever!)
Asked her too about what happened in the day in school which she kept lying to me that she didn't (in the car). She said she followed Joseph in running and jumping on chair during the Speech & Drama class . When probed further .. "no, everyone sitting down. Only me and Joseph run." So, the question came "of all people, why did you have to follow Joseph? Do you know that Joseph's mummy never bother about him? So he's doing all the naughty things in school. Here I am, scolding you for every single thing and you follow him and be a hooligan! Since you want to be a hooligan with no future, fine! We don't have to waste our money to send you to school. You can go down to the void deck or playground at 7am and come back at 7pm everyday." "mummy, I don't want to go playground. I want to go school."
And the gossip about Joseph : His mother is the same age as me. And from what I heard from her father is that she's a can't be bothered mom, she's not working at all and only eat; sleep;go jalan-jalan. Never bother about her 2 kids. And they're the ill-bred children you can think. Not to mention that they've gotten into troubles in the school. Joseph has hit my girl before; taught my girl how a boy pees and can't remember what stupid nots. And I simply don't believe since she sworn never to play with Joseph after she was hit by him - why is she back with him? And honestly, I hate him! I know it's bad to bad-mouth a child but he's really ... 无药可救.
Anyway, back to her - I can't take her nonsense, everyone did agree with me that she has become more mischievous since mei-mei came. So, it's not me being unreasonable or tao-hong here.
I need Super Nanny's help!
And why was I mad with that girl? She's been making the same mistake over and over again. And thing is, she has already overcome the mistake at home (after all the scolding & threaten to use the cane) and she was "fooling around in the class" and didn't do properly.Worst still, Peggy (teacher) knew it was her and told her so many times; all the other children were doing okay. Then she kept turning her head looking at her friends when they're doing solfege at the piano. At first it was a smile thinking it's so playful of her, then it became a grin, then it was an angry grin, finally it became a murderer look.When Peggy repeated the solfege singing (ah... she was shouting) & made stupid mistake again!! Again, correction from Peggy. And Peggy kept telling her "sing don't shout!" At that time, I feel like running out from where I am and smack her in the mouth.
The anger in me welled up that I couldn't wait till we get back home to scold her. I drove to the carpark behind the swimming pool and gave her a scolding in the car for the next 40 mins over what happened in the lesson and all the behaviours that I have been tolerating from her for everything else at home.
When we got back home, I walked into the house all quiet, she was quiet and hubby sensed something was wrong. Asked me why I have to scold her everytime (didn't sound pleased). As if I enjoy scolding her like that, if he thinks he makes a better parent than me - then he can jolly well go ahead to take over my job. Thing is, unfortunately, he himself don't even know much about values -how is he to teach a child?? And he never even bother much about her teaching her anything at all. My child will become a sam-seng kia if she's left to him.
What Master Tan said about Athena is all so true. He mentioned to us before that "这个孩子很难管.不能用暖也不能用硬." Then use what?! Want to 管教 her in everything will make me die faster. Almost the whole time I'm nagging, scolding & screaming at her with a cane. I flare up every single day, almost every hour when she's home. Maybe I should learn to be like my husband - bo chap her at all then I will not see anything and will not flare up & live longer (for sure)
Err.............remember the scolding only happened yesterday right?
This morning, was playing her music in the car. Again, she was shouting. I told her nicely "Athena, sing not shout. You've got a very nice voice, sing it don't shout." And that girl refused to sing after that and was showing tantrum. Fine! In Tampines, I asked her to get out of the car and go in to school herself since she forgot what I just scolded her last night. I am not going to bring her in. Immediately she started crying and held onto my hand. Pushed her away and refused any touch or whatever from her. It continued for 2 mins, I got fed up, went down the car and walked to the school with her running behind me. When she went in, I closed the gate and walked away. Couldn't bother about her, didn't even bother to tell her teacher that she hasn't had her breakfast. Let her go hungry for all I care! Anyway she has so much reserves in her body.
When I went to pick her up from school today, her teacher told me that Athena was running around and jumping on a chair when they were doing the Speech & Drama. I asked Athena about it in the car, and she lied "no, nothing happened today." Still defending herself when I saw her teacher scolding her in class. In the car I was raising my voice at her when Aricia got frightened and started crying; I assured Aricia that I wasn't scolding her. Wonder why she cry? My voice? Or the fact that she realised that she's born to a gila mother? Anyway, I didn't want to bother about Athena after that since she was so defensive.
KZ wanted to feed her dinner, I told her to let her eat herself. I didn't even want to get close to her obviously I didn't want to touch her at all - so KZ showered her. And all the while what was I doing? For the whole evening, I was very very relaxed coz' I deliberately didn't want to do her music lessons, assesments books, flashcards, reading. Of course she was happy coz' she didn't have to do anything. I was in the room with Aricia and was surfing & reading the news, played with Aricia, let her watch animated flashcards on my laptop. I was happy coz' I didn't felt I was rushing through my time today. I had my time to do my own things and need not get my blood pumped up and gush out from my head.
Then hubby came home, and after some time I heard Athena shouting at hubby; hubby shouted at her; she shouted back. Dunno what happened so I came out and asked. Immediately she kowtow when the Empress Dowager came out. Damn it! I've had enough from her & sent her to her punishment corner to pull her ears. Immediately she apologized & said "mummy, I won't do it again. Tomorrow I won't do it again." "only tomorrow?" "And Monday" I don't care, I pulled her to the corner and made her pull her ear. Hubby stood there (I hate it when he deliberately stand there and try to make funny faces at her. He got a scolding from me for not being serious infront of girl, otherwise she'll never obey him). She cried very loudly; kept apologizing. "mummy, tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday etc... I will not do it again." (actually quite funny... but had to control my laughter) I left her outside while I cooled myself down (laughing in the room when she kept repeating over and over again, each time the days get longer and longer). Hubby then went outside and wanted to pacify her by pulling her away, but she cried "cannot,cannot!" and ran back to the position and continued pulling her ear. So - she's afraid of me knowing that no one except me can move her (no wonder alot of times my mom says she really does listen to me. Whenever they want to give her something to eat, she'll say "my mummy say I cannot eat becoz' I'm coughing") but dunno why she simply wants to taunt me and make me so angry.
Brought her to stand infront of me while I questioned her about her nonsense and unbearable behaviour. (and I hate it when hubby sits there like trying to act he's the boss - when clearly I'm the boss coz' she's never afraid of him.Probably he's afraid I might kill her. Yah.. actually I think I would too. I was really mad for the fact that I've been getting her stupid nonsense for the longest time ever!)
Asked her too about what happened in the day in school which she kept lying to me that she didn't (in the car). She said she followed Joseph in running and jumping on chair during the Speech & Drama class . When probed further .. "no, everyone sitting down. Only me and Joseph run." So, the question came "of all people, why did you have to follow Joseph? Do you know that Joseph's mummy never bother about him? So he's doing all the naughty things in school. Here I am, scolding you for every single thing and you follow him and be a hooligan! Since you want to be a hooligan with no future, fine! We don't have to waste our money to send you to school. You can go down to the void deck or playground at 7am and come back at 7pm everyday." "mummy, I don't want to go playground. I want to go school."
And the gossip about Joseph : His mother is the same age as me. And from what I heard from her father is that she's a can't be bothered mom, she's not working at all and only eat; sleep;go jalan-jalan. Never bother about her 2 kids. And they're the ill-bred children you can think. Not to mention that they've gotten into troubles in the school. Joseph has hit my girl before; taught my girl how a boy pees and can't remember what stupid nots. And I simply don't believe since she sworn never to play with Joseph after she was hit by him - why is she back with him? And honestly, I hate him! I know it's bad to bad-mouth a child but he's really ... 无药可救.
Anyway, back to her - I can't take her nonsense, everyone did agree with me that she has become more mischievous since mei-mei came. So, it's not me being unreasonable or tao-hong here.
I need Super Nanny's help!
5 comments:
Gee, this sounds tricky to me. Could it be because she doesn't like music lessons? Would she prefer something more physical to expense off her bountiful energy?
She likes music lessons, always jumping to my organ & picking up violin when I tell her "music lessons" Just that she's too playful and perhaps too complacent??
She's young, that's why. Attention span very short. Sometimes being active comes from being restless and shows she needs more creative instruction?.
How does the teacher teach? Interesting or exciting or not?
Even my 7yo is up to nonsense in his music class. He learns erhu. It's one-to-one though. 45mins class. He spends 15-20 minutes listening at most and can spend the rest of the time playing silly and even *gasp* running around the classroom!!! This has gotten better with time as he's matured a little over the past 6mths.
And especially when he first started, he could only spend at most 5 to 10 minutes practising. But I leave his instrument with the case open so he can take it anytime he wishes.
So take heart. Your dd is even much younger! Of course the behaviour is normal!
She's used to the teacher. Dunno if she's restless or maybe have ADHD.
Oh, my ds does the same to his chinese tutor. Also very used to the teacher already, that's why can come up with this nonsense.
For your dd, it's her age, lah. She's probably v bright and learns fast and gets bored after that. Probably thinks "oh no, same old thing in class again". Might not be ADHD. A little young to label her that way! Hang in There and give her some space.
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