..........I began to think what it reveals about God and me. Is my believe in Him that strong (having stunted my growth in spiritual way) that I can receive His loving provision?
Will I get to see him in heaven? Or maybe not? I'm apprehensive in growing spiritually. And why is it so??
Now is the story I am going to tell you :-
I am born into a buddhist family. At 14 or was it 15, I went to church after being "introduced" to God by a classmate. It kindda freaked my mom out she thought I was going into cult. I spent alot of time in church which she thought I was brainwashed by the people there. Nevertheless, she loved me so much that she didn't object to me attending church, but she did object to me being baptized (well honestly... I didn't even think that far) and cited that I can follow my husband's religion next time, so if I have to be baptized she'll let me be.
However things took for a turn sometime when I was 16 or 17? (goash! I can't even remember how old I was then) Many a times, my Sunday school mates would tell me "Buddhist no good, muslim no good, only Christian is good. Cannot pray to Goddess of Mercy.. it's idolising blah blah blah...." They condemn, critize about every other religion except for the goodness about believing in God and there is only one God. And then I thought to myself, did God really tell them to condemn everyone becoz' he never did. And what good Christians they are (they claim) by criticising others' religion and on the other hand, say not to criticize. The final straw came when during one Sunday school, we were asked to share what was in our wallet. We brought out photos inside sharing with our groupmates. I did likewise, but somehow one person asked me, "how about this slot here? Anything here? " I thought it was suppose to be me bringing it out, and not the 'police' going through every part of my wallet? I said "yes but it's personal. I do not want to share it." Funny, they didn't probe the others' when they opened their wallet but they did that to me. And then one asked "is it buddhist thing?" So whatever has happened to the idea of sharing with your mates?? When they found out it's talisman inside, they started telling me off. I was mad with them coz' my mom had given it to me for safe-keeping and I couldn't throw it away. What happens if one day she asked me for it? Somehow I did ask them "so, does it mean that when my parents pass on, I can't offer them joss sticks?" "yes!" Okay, that sums up my conclusion, I walked out of the church the next week and never went back. I don't need people to condemn and tell me not to pay my last respects to my parents or whoever close to me. I choose to live my life on my own.
And how about finding another church with hubby (hubby is baptized but never attended church for long too)? We have been straying around for a long long time.. but I think we're happy as it is. We believe in God, we choose to live on our own and when it's time to meet God (that is if we're qualified to go there) we'll get bombarded with questions (hahaha!)
I don't know what fellow Christians will say about me now. Perhaps I shouldn't call myself a Christian, I am a free-thinker.
Will I get to see him in heaven? Or maybe not? I'm apprehensive in growing spiritually. And why is it so??
Now is the story I am going to tell you :-
I am born into a buddhist family. At 14 or was it 15, I went to church after being "introduced" to God by a classmate. It kindda freaked my mom out she thought I was going into cult. I spent alot of time in church which she thought I was brainwashed by the people there. Nevertheless, she loved me so much that she didn't object to me attending church, but she did object to me being baptized (well honestly... I didn't even think that far) and cited that I can follow my husband's religion next time, so if I have to be baptized she'll let me be.
However things took for a turn sometime when I was 16 or 17? (goash! I can't even remember how old I was then) Many a times, my Sunday school mates would tell me "Buddhist no good, muslim no good, only Christian is good. Cannot pray to Goddess of Mercy.. it's idolising blah blah blah...." They condemn, critize about every other religion except for the goodness about believing in God and there is only one God. And then I thought to myself, did God really tell them to condemn everyone becoz' he never did. And what good Christians they are (they claim) by criticising others' religion and on the other hand, say not to criticize. The final straw came when during one Sunday school, we were asked to share what was in our wallet. We brought out photos inside sharing with our groupmates. I did likewise, but somehow one person asked me, "how about this slot here? Anything here? " I thought it was suppose to be me bringing it out, and not the 'police' going through every part of my wallet? I said "yes but it's personal. I do not want to share it." Funny, they didn't probe the others' when they opened their wallet but they did that to me. And then one asked "is it buddhist thing?" So whatever has happened to the idea of sharing with your mates?? When they found out it's talisman inside, they started telling me off. I was mad with them coz' my mom had given it to me for safe-keeping and I couldn't throw it away. What happens if one day she asked me for it? Somehow I did ask them "so, does it mean that when my parents pass on, I can't offer them joss sticks?" "yes!" Okay, that sums up my conclusion, I walked out of the church the next week and never went back. I don't need people to condemn and tell me not to pay my last respects to my parents or whoever close to me. I choose to live my life on my own.
And how about finding another church with hubby (hubby is baptized but never attended church for long too)? We have been straying around for a long long time.. but I think we're happy as it is. We believe in God, we choose to live on our own and when it's time to meet God (that is if we're qualified to go there) we'll get bombarded with questions (hahaha!)
I don't know what fellow Christians will say about me now. Perhaps I shouldn't call myself a Christian, I am a free-thinker.
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