Friday, August 1, 2008

Miserable

Feeling miserable the whole day.

Day 1 of bringing Ms Subaru out.
The childrens' response.
Athena was excited but she didn't get to sit next to mei-mei coz' it's a 2 seater behind. Compromised they both took one side each with teddy bear in the middle; unbelted.
Aricia cried; screamed. She was afraid of the new surrounding (I thought she wouldn't know) and therefore refused to get into her carseat, KZ dare not didn't know how to help me. Only the mother can do the job - forcefully put her in without feeling the "heartpain".
I didn't expect the struggle so I was a lil' late. The night before, I had the intention of bringing Aricia to the sinseh in the morning after I drop Athena in school and leave for Aricia's class from the clinic. However this morning, I woke up and heard an even more phlegmy cough from Athena and so I decided that I need to do my crazy shuttling between 2 clinics (Athena - Dr Lee, Aricia - sinseh). In the car, I realised that I wasn't going to make it in time for her class so brought the 2 of them to the sinseh instead. I really hope to give the sinseh one last chance to help Athena. Too much of western medicine's not too good for children especially. Then the sinseh said "are you sure you want to bring her to school?" "she's perfectly fine." "I only worry if they run in school, she might get tired.." you should have seen the smug look on Ahena's face. In the car she asked "mummy, are you bringing me to school?" "yes, the doctor said you're well to attend school." "no, she didn't say that. You bluff me.." "yes, you have to attend school." (she shakes head). I thought then to let her skip school but first I still need that detour to mom's place to get her changed & pick up homework from school. Then went off to Aricia's class, wah................... very depressing; very miserable. Cannot go fast. I heeded hubby's advice to go slow but I thought I heard some sound. Okay, maybe no sound insulation and it makes a different sound from macho Mr Nissan so.. as long as I kept to 80/85kmh the car "won't skid" and the car doors won't drop out. (my imagination ran wild) My time execution was wrong... I should have left much earlier since I can't speed (110/115kmh - mom will freak out!), somehow I can't evade the ERP charges at Prince Edward by that 2 mins. Argh!
Why miserable? Coz' I used to travel on right lane and go "ne-ne-pu-pu" with those cars that have to go slow and get really pissed off with a slow car infront of me. This time round, I can't hog right lane and get pissed off when I get to see those 1.3cc cars revved up their engine and go faster. SHOW OFF! I want to step on accelerator but think about the doors that might drop out if I do that. No wonder hubby thinks its safer to get a smaller car...
Then I thought to myself, I'm always rushing about from places to places (kan cheong). Does it mean it's a hint for me to go slow?

Miserable - part 2
In the night, I was even more miserable and I cried coz' I was so fed up. Fed up with Athena. It's Maths every Fridays and .... drove me up the wall. I never have problems with her on Sundays or Tuesdays (English) or Thursdays (Chinese). But Maths hor... it's not the first time. Just a simple calculation can make me want to tear my hair. The equation is written in sentence form. Ultimately what you're suppose to do is to have 18 minus 12 = 6. Simple right? She can't think, tell me 17, 15 and etc... So I thought okay, I'll teach her to put the numbers below one another so she needs to minus 2 from 8. Still don't understand? I get answers 17, 15 and etc... I used the cuisenaire rods to help her. "Make 18 then take out 12. Tell me the answer." Guess what my girl did? She made 2 rods of 18 and another 12 and then threw back 12 in the box. ?!?! So the answer is 18. ?!?!?! Say fed up or not, lost all my patience. And what made me lose my head is the fact that when I tried explaining to her she wasn't looking at the book; playing with her pencil.
That's not all. At one point, I let her do her music homework unsupervised coz' it's mainly 'copying'. All she needs to do is to copy 2 bars of a 3 4 song. Guess what I saw after I finished Aricia's session? She copied the whole song into 2 bars. Erased off and asked her to re-do unsupervised. She copied the whole song into 2 bars again!!! Fuming mad! Copy also can copy wrongly.
KZ heard me explaining and nagged at her also shook her head. I couldn't take it! After all the efforts in taking my precious time to sit down with her and guiding her for her assessment books, this is all I get? I couldn't take it, I broke down in tears.

2 comments:

Celyw said...

take a deep breath and take care ya!

Lily Ann said...

Took lots, hyperventilate liao... Anyway, thanks!