Infact friends, who have known me for long, know that mom had kidney failure before; went through haemodialysis for a couple of years; then a kidney transplant in 2000 and although she is given a new lease of life - things hasn't looked good at all.
Through the years, mom has been in and out of hospital more than anyone of us. Should I just say that in a month, she'll only be feeling well for only 7-10 days, the rests of the month she either gets pain here and there; side effects from her medication or worse still she falls sicks easily. Her fever gets high and for a person who has gone through kidney transplant fever is dangerous as it may affect the new kidney or show signs of deteroriation etc..
Infact, after her kidney transplant we thought that her medical checks would only be on her kidneys. We were wrong, she had some eye problems; heart problems and recently she told us her head is very painful. After many checks and CT scans, we found out that there is a cyst in some part of her brain. And there's no way she can remove the cyst. Now as I am typing this, my mom has been feeling sick and feverish for the past week. Her last hospital stay was like a month or so back, and I really don't wish she'll go back again soon.
It's really sad for me because everyone knows that I am very close with my mother. And only when I am a mother myself I finally understood how great my mom is. And how much she has done for us and the love for us is greater than taking care of her health.
Over the years mom painstakingly took care of us; gave us what we need; fed us well. And when we were working , her job didn't end there. She needed to go for haemodialysis 3 times a week. And sadly, we normally have no time to accompany her there. When she feels faint after her dialysis, she still has to struggle to make her way back home . And when we got home, the food is ready.. So much so, everything is done for us we didn't know she wasn't feeling well throughout the day. (and she won't tell us until we keep probing further. Most time she'll put a strong front but when she's really weak.. you can see it)
If you're talking about someone who can really tolerate pain, I must say it's my mother. Even now, my mom even thinks of those who are on dialysis. And she keeps telling us "do you know that when they poke that needle into your arm, it's very painful. The pain is beyond description." We wouldn't really know and I guess we don't want to know. But if she can say it's painful, it must be 20X painful for anyone of us to take.
Now then I understood how much she loved me. Despite her tiredness, she'll still wait for me early in the morning or late in the night when I return and follow me to the taxi whenever I had to fly- be it day, afternoon or night. She'll drag herself out of bed and pray to Goddess of Mercy for me. Making sure that the big joss stick continues to burn, and when it finishes she burns another one (if it's a 13 hours flight). She'll burn until the time I touch down. I guess it must be the grace of God and her Goddess of Mercy who were protecting me all those years ( I was lucky I never encountered earthquake in Japan or SFO before; on the day we left we saw some people running in the streets in Jakarta - which we found out later it was the riot way back in 1999??; after I came back from Karachi, there was a bomb set off somewhere, Sep 11- I almost changed to a States flight but decided to hold onto my London flight. Those are just on flights alone. I'm a sightseeing freak, I'll train to different parts of the country and so far no danger. Although I frightened my hubby - then boyfriend and mom for taking a plane on my own to another part in Turkey.Haha!)
Now that I have a girl, she'll want to help me out by helping to take care of my girl. She quoted "not that I want to snatch your daughter away from you but I want you to rest and enjoy couple moments with your husband." Who would do that? Nobody has offered to help me in such great lengths as my mom. Girl also sometimes keeps insisting to stay with mom, but I had to drag her home coz' it'll tire mom out. Then mom goes soft but in the end, I still bring her home with me.
How can I ever repay what my mom has done for me? Is God going to reward my mom for all the good things she has done for us. I only pray for her good health, I would want her to enjoy as much as she can now that she's old, and not to use the time to nurse her health.
Through the years, mom has been in and out of hospital more than anyone of us. Should I just say that in a month, she'll only be feeling well for only 7-10 days, the rests of the month she either gets pain here and there; side effects from her medication or worse still she falls sicks easily. Her fever gets high and for a person who has gone through kidney transplant fever is dangerous as it may affect the new kidney or show signs of deteroriation etc..
Infact, after her kidney transplant we thought that her medical checks would only be on her kidneys. We were wrong, she had some eye problems; heart problems and recently she told us her head is very painful. After many checks and CT scans, we found out that there is a cyst in some part of her brain. And there's no way she can remove the cyst. Now as I am typing this, my mom has been feeling sick and feverish for the past week. Her last hospital stay was like a month or so back, and I really don't wish she'll go back again soon.
It's really sad for me because everyone knows that I am very close with my mother. And only when I am a mother myself I finally understood how great my mom is. And how much she has done for us and the love for us is greater than taking care of her health.
Over the years mom painstakingly took care of us; gave us what we need; fed us well. And when we were working , her job didn't end there. She needed to go for haemodialysis 3 times a week. And sadly, we normally have no time to accompany her there. When she feels faint after her dialysis, she still has to struggle to make her way back home . And when we got home, the food is ready.. So much so, everything is done for us we didn't know she wasn't feeling well throughout the day. (and she won't tell us until we keep probing further. Most time she'll put a strong front but when she's really weak.. you can see it)
If you're talking about someone who can really tolerate pain, I must say it's my mother. Even now, my mom even thinks of those who are on dialysis. And she keeps telling us "do you know that when they poke that needle into your arm, it's very painful. The pain is beyond description." We wouldn't really know and I guess we don't want to know. But if she can say it's painful, it must be 20X painful for anyone of us to take.
Now then I understood how much she loved me. Despite her tiredness, she'll still wait for me early in the morning or late in the night when I return and follow me to the taxi whenever I had to fly- be it day, afternoon or night. She'll drag herself out of bed and pray to Goddess of Mercy for me. Making sure that the big joss stick continues to burn, and when it finishes she burns another one (if it's a 13 hours flight). She'll burn until the time I touch down. I guess it must be the grace of God and her Goddess of Mercy who were protecting me all those years ( I was lucky I never encountered earthquake in Japan or SFO before; on the day we left we saw some people running in the streets in Jakarta - which we found out later it was the riot way back in 1999??; after I came back from Karachi, there was a bomb set off somewhere, Sep 11- I almost changed to a States flight but decided to hold onto my London flight. Those are just on flights alone. I'm a sightseeing freak, I'll train to different parts of the country and so far no danger. Although I frightened my hubby - then boyfriend and mom for taking a plane on my own to another part in Turkey.Haha!)
Now that I have a girl, she'll want to help me out by helping to take care of my girl. She quoted "not that I want to snatch your daughter away from you but I want you to rest and enjoy couple moments with your husband." Who would do that? Nobody has offered to help me in such great lengths as my mom. Girl also sometimes keeps insisting to stay with mom, but I had to drag her home coz' it'll tire mom out. Then mom goes soft but in the end, I still bring her home with me.
How can I ever repay what my mom has done for me? Is God going to reward my mom for all the good things she has done for us. I only pray for her good health, I would want her to enjoy as much as she can now that she's old, and not to use the time to nurse her health.
2 comments:
Lily, do send my regards to yr mummy. :)
Will do thanks. Quite worried for her leh....
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