Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Not going home

After all the boo-ha I write for the past few days and going through 3 days of frustrations at St Martin's Drive. My complaint of me not being able to cope alone for too long is just so inhumane of me. I was the one who said I cannot cope; I need her. Now I am the person who decides not to let her go home now until a few months later. Very indecisive huh?

On Tuesday night I did think if I should delay her flights to a few days later or months later? If she's worried and wants to see her family. If the delay makes any difference to her. I also did think that I should try to struggle without help in later months coz' ultimately the most important thing is her safety now. She asked to send money back home, I told her the best thing to do now is to bring it herself and hide it then to have the courier doing it now which equates to 'running away with your money' To her, her people are honest and simple-minded people. Yes, I don't deny that Myanmese are very honest and unconniving people but having lived in a urban society where 'we have to watch our back' I warned her that people may be desperate at this time.
This morning I get advices from my family not to send her back at this time. So this affirms my decision not to let her go back for the time being. And they also brought up topics of her being robbed at this time.

In the night, I get her confirmed answer and she said it's okay that she don't go back home now coz' she felt it's going to be messy. Whether she's worried about her family, she said "God protecting my family" "I go Embassy, nobody is going back. Only a few those who have children back home in Myanmar are flying back."

Since she's alright with it, her flight has been confirmed on 29th November to 29th December - so she'll be home for Christmas. And it's really comforting to know that she also did have my well-being at heart. She said "sister (my sis) asked if I go back less than one month okay or not. I say okay, if let me go back one week I also go back one week. I okay, I worry mom cannot cope with Athena and Aricia."

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