Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Sensible girl & guilt-stricken mother

Last night I had to ask my girl to sleep in her own room as she's sniffing away. She was afraid and asked me to sleep with her, I said okay. Turned on the night lights for her, and then she turned on the Winnie The Pooh light (the one Aunty Jus gave her) which I told her the room is bright enough as the lights from the opposite block are shining into the room.
She was chatting with me and I told her that she will have to learn to sleep on her own now since she's a big girl. But she's not comfortable with the idea of sleeping alone(probably we started her too late) Anyway, I did tell her next time our helper might be sleeping in the same room as her and when baby comes, the sensible girl said " baby sleep here. I take care of di di, mei mei." I was quite pleased but I hope she will remain as sensible when the time comes and not get jealous. (which was why we decided that both children shall sleep without daddy/mummy to avoid the jealousy that may arise)
As we talked I started feeling queasy and instead of making that horrible sound; I cough out. She asked me 'mummy, you want to vomit?"
M: Yes
A: You must drink hot tea. You drink hot tea then you will not vomit. Athena drink hot tea and never vomit....
M: (laughing)
A: Athena like to drink many many hot drinks. I drink barley juice...
Anyway, feeling rather tired myself I told her to sleep. Hubby woke me up an hour later and I moved back to our room. Anyway I had my pee break at 6am and went over to check on girl. I was surprised that she was sleeping the wrong side (leg on pillow and head on her fluffed up quilt), anyway went back to her cot and brought out her another blanket for her. As I covered her; she stirred. I thought I saw her open her eyes, went closer and she gave me that sad look. And she spoke "I want mummy.."
Guilt-stricken as this is the second time I've lied to her. (the first time she woke up crying, this time she chose to keep quiet)
Anyway, I deduced she must have gotten up at some time in the night, sat up rubbing her favourite bear's nose hoping I'll come by, moved her butt and waited and then plop down to bed in the wrong direction. (based on observations on how she'd behave these years).
I asked her :
M: Were you waiting for mummy?
A: Yes
M: Are you angry with mummy for not keeping to my promise
A: Yes
M: What time did you get up?
A: (kept quiet)-anyway silly question from me
M: When you didn't see mummy, why didn't you go over to daddy/mummy room?
A: (kept quiet)
M: Were you afraid
A: (nods her head)
A: I want mummy... (sounding really sad)
M: Ok, mummy's here now. I am sorry I did not keep my promise.(kisses her) I love you, Athena. Can you move aside to let mummy sleep?
A:(moves to the side)
A:(hugs me as I lay down to sleep next to her)


ros said...

Athena's so attached to u! Remember to keep her involved in helpin u look aft sibling next time. I remember helpin to fold my sis baby clothes, gave her her milk bottle etc. Hee Hee! :)

Lily Ann said...

Oh yes, I will try to get her involved. But you know what?? I'm surprised that she takes the idea of her being a che-che well.
Will have to surf the net on how to avoid sibling rivalry man!