Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Worrying too much?

Am I worrying too much? I seem to worry about everything with regards to my children. Too over-protective?
So many questions but no answer.

Scenerio 1
Two mondays ago she met her schoolmate at R's place. After playing together the girl sat down to do her work. Athena sat down in a distance resting.
A while later the girl called Athena back and showed off all her many pens in her pencil case. It was really alot!! - all in different colours. Athena stood there looking with her puppy-looking eyes, head cocked a little to one side and her lips pouted a little.
I observed her.... then the girl (in a very authoritative voice) told her "okay, nothing to show already." Athena went back to her place to sit down.

The thoughts that went through my mind :

1. My girl is being bullied. In this case she obediently followed the girl's instructions and sat down. It's like she's been called only when needed and then discarded aside when not needed. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it... but if it happens once it can happen again. Subsequently, I worry if she's being hurt emotionally or she's too young to even understand it.

2. My girl is pitiful. She is probably envious of the girl's possession of multi-coloured pens and I should be buying her more pens than that girl (that's wrong message sent across to her then) but .... maybe I'm too free (free meh?) to read too much into it. But then again, you should really see her expression - very pitiful looking.
I was worried she'd feel sad (then again, she's always sad when I scold her. Meaning she'll feel more sad in my home then whatever sad thing that happens outside) and so I asked her later in the car. She said she didn't feel anything, I then explained that if she felt envious of her friend she should be thinking how fortunate she is to have so many things. Different people have different likings, maybe to that girl she loves pens so her mother keeps buying. I know my girl loves stickers so I try to buy her stickers (though I hate her sticking stickers around the house/things) Damn weird mother I am. And she is indeed one real lucky child to have so many things; to travel to so many countries (though other kids may travel more than her) and oh boy! she's spoilt by the mother. Really!

What can I do? I think as a 30++ ah-soh, she thinks the world as a 7 yr-old. She don't think the world is that complicated. I think I'm the one who's complicated!!

Scenerio 2
A classmate used her pen to draw on her blue pinafore. I freaked out when I saw that long pen mark. Argh! I probe her if she did rebel or complain to teacher. She said no. Meaning = she simply sat there and let her friend drew on her pinafore. What the ?? Was that girl sitting next to her? No, she came from another table while the Chinese lesson was going on.
Point is 1. my girl is a god target for bullies. Ask her to fight for her rights, that timid girl wouldn't dare to do it. She might decline and say "no" to her friends but after some time she can't do anything and .... that is something I should be grateful for - her chin-chye-ness (which makes caring for her easy last time)

I worry she has no friends
I worry she is being taken advantage of
I worry she can't judge what is good/wrong
I worry, I worry, I worry


Mel said...

Their name supposed to be FIERCE FIERCE hor? Goddess of Wisdom, Goddess of WAR... dunno why mine also meek type one. :P

Lily Ann said...

Mel, read this :

Athena is not violent kind, Ares is.

Duh! We should have named our daughters Ares. Hee!