Saturday, October 7, 2017

Lived for half my life (I turn 42 today)

which also means I'm left with another half or maybe less of my life. I guess, there's advantages of having children young, though amongst my classmates I'm considered not young when I gave birth to my first child. I have classmates who are enjoying late teenhood with their first born.

What am I going to do?
I'll need to mind the girls' (well technically only lil' one's) academic business for the next 2 years. Thereafter, once she goes into secondary school, she has to be on her own. By then, I can fully live my own life.

Work? Left the workforce so long time ago in 2005. Still interested in PR but having lost touch, and being 42 or by then 47, no one wants to hire an old hag - I'll even have problem trying to find a job in the dimly lit bars as a mamasan!!

Hobbies? What hobbies? I love cute things --knitting. Doesn't mean that I'll do it coz it means if I knit means I'll have stash of yarn and the end products at home. Then how? Over the years, I noticed my interest has turned to one for growing kids. When girls growing up, I was interested in bow making and enjoyed making hairbows for them until girls grew older and wouldn't want to be seen with such stuffs on their head. I bought so many ribbons and ...will have to start selling them away on carousell! Bento items also! So what's my hobby - my real hobby? 

This is an interesting poem I came across today :
Dreaming, unfettered and free,
I recalled my daily existence.
From days past to life’s sunset,
Memories mingled with regrets,
Is this all that I can expect?
What have I paid in all my toil,
Riches that did not truly satisfy.
Left behind, when all is deceased,
What then, does it mean to live?
Is this all that life has to give?
Days turn to nights, summer to winter,
A vicious cycle, as each day passes.
With passions gone, dreams fall out,
Its beginning and end, left in doubt,
Tell me, what is life all about?

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