Thursday, March 5, 2026
BP monitors + BP
Took a break from housework
to get myself more tired. Crazy! I just needed to get my mind off things. Hoping to lower cortisol and lower my blood pressure.
So funny. While I was doing housework the man went to gym. I went awhile later after he came back.
@ 1.36pm
Deleted a bulk of it
I hope I’m ready for the coming trip.
Deleted the iMovies from phone, deleted all the photos I don’t need. Coz usually I keep them in the deleted folder until I confirmed the iMovie can playback.
Actually why still 1/2 storage used. Sigh….
Tuesday, March 3, 2026
Cortisol level up
Just so many things happening around me. I’m too stressed.
Worried about lil’ one (which is a lot of things), angry with lil’ one not taking care of herself her tonsillitis, worry about something else, my iMovie pressure. I mean it’s suppose to be happy thing right since going another holiday. iMovie pressure is quite silly but I guess I do get aggitated and gancheong easily. Then another stupid thing that add on to my stress and bad mood.
Then insomnia, my blood pressure went up. 155/122. It’s damn high I thought the machine is spoilt. Doctor said it’s high. It’s not supposed to be that high! My blood pressure is normal so to see these “hitting the roof” numbers is scary. Must be all the insomnia and bad sleep causing the high bp. I choose to think that is the cause and not because of another stupid bor-liao thing that someone is making me even more stressed.
For the last few weeks my sleep has been interrupted. Tossing and turning but cannot sleep. 2am, 3am, 4am my eyes still big big like owl. I’ve been doing lots of deep breathing as my lungs seem to be heavy, as if someone is sitting on my chest. Can’t be the pillow right? I’ve already changed my pillow to the cradlesloth pillow. And that was the bestest pillow I ever slept on! Then I don’t know why but hubby has been more aggressive in his sleep now, he’s been fighting with someone in his nightmare. He has talked and then punched me 😂, then scratched me when he sleeps on his left side. I hope I’m not the person in his nightmare. When he sleeps on his right side, he has knocked down things from the side table. This has been ongoing for many months, but it has gone worse the past few weeks. So when I’m trying to sleep suddenly he punch or scratch me. For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying hard to sleep. Exhale out slowly thru my mouth wondering if I’d die in my sleep coz I have trouble breathing in the night. Seems an eternity but still can’t sleep. When I am about to doze off, he comes and punch / scratch me. Wah… then I cannot sleep again. Earplugs on to block out his snoring, lavender oil on wrists to coax me to orh orh and now I need to put a pillow behind me. Yet he can push the pillow to my back. Wah…..why he keeps having nightmares?
My heart heavy my head heavy. Been having headache for past 2 weeks. I probably need to go to a temple and meditate. I actually did play some Buddhist songs just to calm myself down.
Too stressed until my menses didn’t come. Which is not what I want coz I prefer to go on a holiday without the hassle of having my menses. But yes it means I’m under stress. So leychey! Somemore going china where gotta squat in toilet. I can’t squat properly. No bidet. Wah piang eh.
Then I have another worry. My health check report came back. I definitely need to monitor and do another mammogram again. Sob sob.. women basically go thru torture to kiap the neh neh. It’s so painful. Just hope it’s nothing serious. Pap smear also not done yet in my health checkup, hopefully I’m healthy.
Then some bloody nonsense from …. Fuck lah! World so much problem and still gotta add this borliao thing.
Think you may not know what I’m typing, my words are incoherent now. I type as I think, I think with everything jumbled up. Just know that I’m angry, I’m worried, I’m stressed.
Saturday, February 28, 2026
These pics keeps popping up in my feed
So pretty! I want to go. A place to see tulips, sakuras and the alps. A picnic mat is missing tho.
25th feb
I did plan these 2 spots in my solo travel itinerary. But I wasn’t blessed with views like this so …ok good excuse to go back.
25th or 26th Feb
28th Feb (Sat)
Same prompting again. Tulips 正在慢慢的长大
Not related to Toyama but the Japanese temples and shrines posts do get my attention as well. I’m no holly molly but stepping into temples makes me calm. I love stepping into BTRT, the 4th floor, away from the tourists hustle and bustle area. There’s a platform where one can sit there to meditate. I’ve always wanted to do that but everytime when I drop by BTRT I’m always in a rush to head somewhere else after that. Not that I know what and how to meditate 🤣 , may end up sleeping there.
Tairapyoyama 平標山
I talk as if I’m going the above mentioned places soon. Truth is, I’m not even sure if I can go. Need to be frugal, me not working and dunno what the world is going to be with the madness of somebody. If only I am rich.
Thursday, February 26, 2026
Took me a long time
Tonsillitis II
Her tonsilitis began when she was in Year 1, in 2023. Then it wasn’t a frequent occurrence and if I’m not wrong her MC record for school was perfect. Then it came to Year 2 and Year 3 the frequencies got more and more. She took so many MCs. Worst was when she was doing her intern. Internship leh! How can leave this kind of bad impression on the boss?
In December when internship is all over and done with. It occured again. No more school; no more work.
22nd Dec (Mon)
See the Doctor again. She has been having slight pain for the past week and last night she started sniffing. Oh oh!
ENHANCIN 625MG (AMOXICILLIN/CLAVULANATE) TAB -
15.00 tabs | $16.50 |
FEXOFEN (FEXOFENADINE) 180MG TAB -
10.00 tabs | $10.00 |
SERRAPTASE 10 (SERRATIOPEPTIDASE) 10MG TAB -
10.00 tabs | $5.00 |
SODEN (NAPROXEN) 275MG TAB -
20.00 tabs | $10.00 |
CONSULTATION - $32
TOTAL : $80.12
23rd Dec (Tue)
Started the course of antibiotics.
30th Dec (Tue)
She was better but decided to bring her for the follow up. Inflammation is gone.
Dr Tan saw her today
ENHANCIN 625MG (AMOXICILLIN/CLAVULANATE) TAB -
15.00 tabs | $16.50 |
SODEN (NAPROXEN) 275MG TAB -
20.00 tabs | $10.00 |
FOLLOW UP CONSULTATION - $24
TOTAL : $55.05
Got some antibiotics from the doctor to standby for the trip. Hopefully there’s no need for it.
During the holiday, made her drink her 板蓝根 and the tablets I bought from medical hall, hopefully can reduce any heatiness. Then …… I’m so damn frustrated with this whole tonsilitis episodes that she gets so frequent. #%^*! It’s mentally draining for me, I have other things to worry about and she gives me this.
Female doctor, Dr Ang saw her.
Description
CURAM SANDOZ 625MG (AMOXICILLIN/CLAVULANATE) TAB
15 tabs $18
CURAM SANDOZ 625MG (AMOXICILLIN/CLAVULANATE) TAB
15 tabs $18 [for holiday]
SODEN (NAPROXEN) 275MG TAB
20 tabs $20
CONSULTATION $32
TOTAL : $86.11
I think for future consultations I should just make her pay herself. See whether she feels the pinch to spend her own money or not. Maybe she’ll wise up a little? Or maybe not? She’s so stubborn. Coz I’ve spent so many years and months to keep nagging at her until I 气到自己不能睡. Heart palpitating so hard. Who knows maybe know I have high blood pressure because of her. Why other people’s kids 讲一两次都会听话、她不会?













































