Damn tired

17th May (Sat)

I seriously have some problems with my sleep now. I went to bed at 3am coz my body has been tuned to that timing (which I need to stop coz it’s causing me more harm than good), but I tossed and tossed but couldn’t sleep. The last time I checked my clock was 5am, and the rooster from dunno which household had been crowing since 4am (?), so maybe I fell asleep after 5.30? 

I woke up at 12pm! Wanted to bring the girls to visit mom in hospital but I woke up so late. Visiting hours is from 12 - 2pm, so it means I can’t do any housework except pulling out the bedsheets and throw into the washing machine. Intended to just visit, have lunch then pack dinner home. I’m so tired so all I want is my bed to lie down for 1/2hr or maybe 1hr. Then while I was in the hospital carpark bro asked me if I can help with the discharge. I did and very slow process lor. In SGH when they say mom can be discharged in the morning, usually from what I heard she only managed to finish whatever things in the evening, 7-8hrs later. So I was thinking to self, cham I'm going to over-exert myself waiting coz I can feel my body is not the usual. Luckily it’s much faster in Sengkang she was discharged and otw to bro’s place in around 2+ 3hrs later. Anyway, long story short, the lunch which I was supposed to bring the girls for didn’t materialise and it was close to dinner, so we had dinner outside as the girls had planned to go Sushiro in the morning. 

It was a quick eat, buy warabi drink then go home. By the time we got back home I was already so so so so so tired. I needed a shower badly and I simply had no mood to continue with my holiday planning. I laid my tired body on the newly changed bedsheet and just did some housekeeping in my phone. Sigh................ if only my life is always so relaxing. Eyes weary and popped in two panadols coz head throbbing pain.

Brother had wanted us to stay over

Bro asked if we wanted to join them for dinner. But no I can't. I told him I have alot of things to do. I get asked alot of times why am I so busy, what am I so busy with? I just have so many things to do. Cleaning the house doesn't just mean vacumning and mopping the floor. There are so many small little misc jobs to do eg. cleaning surfaces; cleaning bathroom; tidying; cleaning fans, mirrors, glass, window grilles, ironing, even have to wash the floor mats, kitchen clothes etc… AND I CLEAN THE FLOOR GROUTS TOO! Coz the girls/hubby see everything is clean and tidy they think there's nothing to do at home BUT I was the magician to turned every place neat and clean. Someone who have to even do the extra task of putting the remote control left on the sofa by someone else? Or to put back the damn comb back into the holder instead of all over the place on the basin. Extra things like now I just finished the BS aka storeroom project. I still have to handle the plants, shoe shelf etc.. My personal things leh? - imovies, holiday planning, scanning, still have alot more things to do but it’s taking me forever. 

Whatever it is, I’m not a woman of leisure. I hope everyone knows I have no domestic helper or part-timer who comes in to help me clean. End of the day I still gotta do everything. I even found out 100% of my SAHM friends actually do have part-timers to help them. No wonder they’re so damn free! So yah! Nobody understands that if I were to spend my time away doing nothing but chatting and all, I have double work piling up for me at home. It’s just the wrong timing now when I’m laden with itinerary and all the works. 

18th May (Sun)

Had to be hardworking today coz I didn't clean the house yesterday. 

Was so tired that my 1/2 nap became 4 hr nap. I woke up at 7+ and walked out 🧟 of the room. And the 2 girls can sit there and ask me "what's for dinner?" OMG! They're not young kids anymore leh! Still can ask me 'what's for dinner'. Can't they just order Grab? Or wake me up earlier to ask? Or just settle themselves? Frustrated and heck the kids just asked them to cook instant noodles themselves, I’m so tired. What if I woke up at 9pm? Are they going to starve to death just waiting for me?