So...how to be tactful??

How can a person be tactful when the truth speaks for itself?

Today, bumped into this Malay ex-neighbour (who had moved out many years back) at Ikea . And I can imagine her shock when she asked "are you that daughter.. the one who's a stewardess?" OMG! Confirmed I'm fat and Ah-soh looking beyond recognition. I'm only putting SQ to shame for having hired such an Ah-soh before. My immediate remark was "yes. I'm fat." She offered no consolation and said "ai yah.... you have 2 children already of course different."Umm......

I'm simply in denial. Of course no use talking so much when I haven't even find the time to get into the groove of losing weight and looking good. (I'm simply tired with 2 kids) Mom even asked me to change my wardrobe to looser clothings ; looking like her -over my dead body! so I won't look ridiculously funny with flabs bulging here and there. But I won't do it, if I'm shopping I'm shopping for nice and younger-looking clothes not clothes that make me look like 40+ and then having to change again when I do slim down.

I really gotta do something. Make myself look good so that self-esteem is up.

Itching to go..

......on hubby's business trips. Hubby has for the last few times been hesitating. He wants the family with him but our little one is too little.. and we can't bear to leave her behind. Gone are the days where I can pack our bags anytime and the family will be together. He's due for another trip soon.. and darn! I'm stuck in Singapore!
I really wonder when we can continue with our family holidays. For a sightseeing freak, it's really hard to hold back my urge. However consolation is that, hubby will not get a heart attack when he finds out where I bring my babies to. Coz' now with 2, I cannot take the train to other part of the country or... once I took a train to Germany all by myself with Athena. He gasped and reaction was "how can you bring our daughter to Germany all by yourself?" Told you I'm a sightseeing freak!!

Aricia misses the smelly mummy

Aricia has been wanting me and only me, that my family doctor told my mom "she recognizes the mummy's smell." I didn't realise the truth of his statement until last night.

I brought Athena out for a while (less than an hour) in the evening and when I got back.. my poor girl was sobbing with tears in her eyes. And she gave me that pathetic look and like chiding me "why did you leave me alone at home?" Immediately I carried her and she gazed into my eyes. At that time, I felt heartbroken for leaving her at home.
Today, I left her at home while I bring Athena for her music lesson. And when I got back home, KZ told me she cried again when she kept turning to look for me. She couldn't stop her from crying, and she was crying louder than usual. She only quieten when hubby came home.

I remembered once my mom said that Athena sticks to daddy coz of the chinese zodiac - horse (Athena) loves goat (hubby). And this little dog will stick to the wild hare(me) Surely she's not that accurate, is she?

D.O.M

D.O.M does not mean Benedictine DOM but it means Dirty Old Man. And who is this DOM? My dad!

He passed a remark at me a week ago when I wore this 3/4 tights which is elastic kind." Ai yoh.. you are so fat meh? You better not wear this lah. Your thigh got so big meh? Last time not so big leh.." Bloody hell! Already sad that my thighs are bigger, and he offered me no comfort! Oi! 2 children leh!
The next day I wore my gym gear and he said "ahh... this one is better. aiyoh you dunno ah.. yesterday that one tsk..you don't understand we men see hor.. very tsk tsk." When he passed that remark 'we men', he got a scolding (which we laughed over it) from me "you hum-sup!"

Then today I wore this shorts and he said "aiyoh... tolong lah. Tsk tsk, you cannot wear this. Can see your fat thigh."

Argh!! If only I can put something in his mouth to shut him up.

No use finding excuses for myself, I really have to do something. Even my helper can tell me "mum... you put on weight." Of course lah! I don't have to do housework now which is a good form of exercise. She gotta be thankful that she has a job now!
After watching Girls Out Loud last night and seeing how Wendy aka xiaxue's nose surgery went.. I freaked out (It's actually worst with a C-section, I caught a video of it before)..anyway I was so on in "I must have a Lipo to suck out all my fats." (yah! as if I have the money)That statement is history liao.. now if I still have the money I'll opt for Meso.
May the new year bring me fortune and strike 4D (like as if I buy) so I can proceed with Meso.

The Scientist In The Crib

"Young babies imitate adults, a trait that leads them to behaviors not genetically determined. Through imitation, children learn how to behave in their social world. Babies also imitate other children; in fact, older siblings are sometimes more important than parents in this regard. Imitation is an innate mechanism for learning from adults, a method of learning not available to most other animals."

I fully agree on the bold sentence. Early in the day, the older girl had to fool around on the sofa. She was lying on her back; when she lifted up her legs to her head (like a contortionist). The little one kept looking at her che-che and started smiling. Soon...as I observed.. she also lifted up her legs but of course she couldn't do as well as her che-che.

Me : Athena, you see.. mei-mei is imitating you.
AT : No what.. she cannot bring up her legs. Where got?
Me : That's because mei-mei is small and fragile. She will break her back and legs if she does that.
AT : No what... you see you see! I can do it never break my legs what (did the same action as she spoke to me)

Greedy gal

Having one pui pui and greedy girl (Athena) is not enough, I need to have another one. Except this one is still small..

I always wonder if Aricia drinks every 2 hours, she should be big but she's still mistaken for a small little baby. And a few days ago, she nibbled on her sister's porridge. She was enjoying it and cried when we stopped giving her. Today, she kept looking when Athena was having her dinner. I fed her two very teeny weeny amount and she was so happy. Cried again when I stopped.

Her first..

turn! Aricia tried to turn from back to front today by herself.

She was on her playmat when I saw her rocking herself from back to side a couple of times, and then .... she turned again in time for my camera. Quite a good attempt, but she was struggling as she couldn't breathe.She was kissing the playmat. Haha! We have to be extra careful when she's asleep..when she's awake.

Click here for her 1st attempt
Click here for her 2nd attempt

Two babies

at feeding time.

Photos

A few of the many snapshots taken today.

I like the shots of Aricia looking on at daddy on the sofa; she kept smiling at him hoping to get his attention.

Will load more photos in Aricia's blog

She really..

actually gave my mobile phone number to my neighbour! Still can tell me... until I told her off "how can you give my number to anyone? You cannot give our telephone number to anyone!"

And this neighbour stays directly below us. According to KZ, she came up with a book and a pen in hand - like so ready to take down something to 'book' me. And I'm so fed up with them coz' I've already told them before with regards to the matter..

What happened just before my helper came (sometime in May or June) when I was scrubbing my kitchen floor. A guy came up and asked if I was washing the floor - obvious reason lah! Can't see I'm holding a scrub is it? At that time, we did speak in a nice tone coz' we both needed some understanding from both parties. From what I found out, it's the crack that he has in his ceiling. It's not my business at all. And what I was surprised is that nothing had happened when I used to scrub my kitchen floor once a week. There were no complaints of water seeping through and wetting his cabinets.
At that time, I told him that there's no crack on my flooring - it has to do with some cracks on his ceiling. And did tell him that he has to contact HDB for this matter to 'mend the crack'. Which will be a messy affair. So that there will be no incidences of water seeping. And meanwhile I will try not to scrub my floor.
One month later after that incident, I needed to scrub my floor again (I'm a clean freak) and there was no complaint from them.
Months down the road, 6 months later. I tak-boleh tahan asked my helper to scrub the floor on Wednesday -24th. And Friday the woman came up and asked if we're washing the floor.. said water is seeping through her ceiling now. And didn't sound happy, so my helper said "no! I wash on Wednesday. Today no!" "No, it's not only this week last week you wash the floor right?" That's like pointing a finger at us; accusing us for something we didn't do.
So... then I realised that they didn't even contact HDB to mend the crack. Like I said it's not my bloody business. It's the same scenerio if my 13th floor neighbour scrubs the floor.. water seeps through ceiling it's my problem.
Can't because of the stupid 11th floor neighbour I have to live in a sty condition right?

Then she asked for my number and my helper went to give. She kena scolding from me after that. So what! take my number for what?! I told her after that whoever asks for our number, not to give at all. Best is, to close the main door and don't open the door - also had to warn her about some people resorting to black magic.
Sigh.... what to do?? Give already what can I do?

Playing a tune

Whenever I give Athena her music lesson now, she is more excited than before. She'd run to get her bag; turn on the organ etc.. get herself seated.

And once I heard her singing the solfege to Mary Had A Little Lamb and.... she was playing the tune all by herself. I couldn't believe my ears! Now I know, the more I pressurize her to do properly; the more she'll ignore me.

Why..why....

it is cute when little children likes to do this??

and we get scolded for being rude?

All my mumblings

■ Andrea : Athena's special-made bear, which hubby bought from Sydney's Bear Factory, needs battery for our personalized speech. Our lame speech when she presses the stomach or where-ever the thing goes to.
Me : Athena, mummy love you
He : Daddy love you too
Me : You are our sweet little darling
He : Our little princess
Us : And our little angel
We were laughing when we did the recording. I sounded fierce; he sounded tired. It took us 4 times to record this simple statement.
There isn't any Bear Factory here in Singapore , or can I go to Build-A-Bear in Vivo City? I think they should have a similar mechanism in their shop right? Then perhaps at the same time get something for Aricia too?

Meet Aussie Andrea- the illegal immigrant (no passport)

Andrea's Birth Certificate

■ I don't know why I like Crayola stuffs so much. If they thought they are only enticing the little children, they are wrong.. this Ah-soh likes their stuffs too. Her drawer is filled with colouring materials from Crayola, x2 books of Color Wonder..and out of 8 markers, 2's missing. Duh! So had to get her new ones. Was quite frustrated with the usual 8 markers until I saw this. Wow! $22.95 for so many colours! I didn't even know... until she told me "ay.. mummy this one same in Elizabeth's birthday party leh." "oh is it? Mummy didn't see that day." "Yes I know mummy... same same."

And the funny thing is... I always fight with Athena with the Color Wonders. She wants to colour; I want to colour. That's why there's 2! - one with fingerpaints; another with markers. But we still fight! She sees me colouring so nice & she wants to inter-change; I refuse and then we fight. Haha! Deprived childhood! And I'm so tempted to buy Colour Explosion for her.... so that I can colour.

■ Needed to get some new towels from Aussino but was attracted to the Kids bedsheets they had. Don't ask me why but I like their very cute-sy bedsheets and duvet. Two is enough liao, not like we change bedsheets everyday. But when Aricia moves to the big bed...why not?(still a long long time)
Umm.. seem to have problem loading into their website. The ones that I like is the Farm and another one has a Bee on it.

■ Since I bought Aricia the whole set of Baby Einstein.... she hasn't been paying much attention to it. I think she is used to the other video I had been playing for her. In the end, it is KZ;Athena & myself who's watching it. And then Athena will think she's so smart will start shouting the names of the things shown. Today, I was playing the Baby Einstein on TV for her and she stared at the computer I'm on. I opened up the file I did on PowerPoint for her and she was looking at all the graphics. Duh! I turn her towards the TV; she kept turning in the direction of the computer.

■ Again, deprived toys made me so tempted to... I feel like buying them (ahem. okay it's more for me) V.Smile TV learning system. But I have to buy cartridges and cartridges. Expensive! As it is, I have to buy cartridges for Athena's Leap Pap which also serves the same purpose - education! Sigh.. I think I should just stick to my Sudoku game which claims "100,000 puzzles" - think I die also haven't solve all puzzles.

■ Strange? Athena's been wanting to go to school early this days. I tell you my daughter's 'tao hong'. She'll tell me "mummy, why you drive so slow? Quick quick you go this car then that car..I'm going to miss my Mari Kitata Ra Ya" Trying to direct me how to drive when we're StUcK in the TPE jam. ?!?! Having said so about our National Anthem, I don't understand why she had to add the 'ta' behind 'kita'. Corrected her so many times; she still sings this way.

When she's in school, she'll dance happily. Last year she simply refused to dance. Maybe she's older and more sensible now?

I did tell her that I had to try to avoid the jam, so we have to leave home much earlier each day, and she'll have to miss her Hi-5 and Dora. She tried bargaining with me.. "I watch the front dancing part then I go?" Quite poor thing, this is something that she oftens look forward to in the mornings. Feel pity for her that feel like recording it for her, but I think my DVD recorder can't do the job, we have to change to Smart TV .

■ Had been tagging on my girlfriend's blog. Why is it that people always like to comment "you're so free huh?" to blog. Being a full time mother takes up alot of our time. That's why many people choose to continue working while they leave their children to others . Just leave the blogger alone. Let her/him write what they want; when they want.
But I've seen her schedule... quite jialat coz' her son is in 3 hours nursery, so I can sympathize with her hair-tearing experiences at home. Or maybe not so bad coz' her boy very obedient. I am considered lucky that Athena is in full-day so that I can concentrate on the little one in the day time with all the stimulations needed. It's only the evenings when I have to battle with 2 kiddos.
But I must admit that it does take me a whole day or days just to post one entry.

■ Speech & Drama : I've been stuck at home that I don't even have time to find the place for Athena. I have to put her on the weekends class, and to consider the distance I'm willing to travel every week for her class.
These are what I've narrowed down :
Morris Allen - Kovan
Brightspan - Kovan
Helen O'Grady - Ngee Ann City
Act3 - Newton
Learning Horizon - Punggol
Kidz Playhouse - Punggol
Savaskool - Dhoby Ghaut
Centre Stage - River Valley (found out from Mel's blog & it seems interesting)
Better get my ass off the chair and go into each schools, except for Brightspan & Kidz Playhouse (checked out much earlier)and find out more. Register at one school and let her start. Keep talking about it but nothing's done so far!

■ Swimming : She's 5, and it's time to let her learn swimming. I am going to approach this guy who used to teach at the same time as my instructor in Katong Swimming Complex. Wow! He had been teaching for 20 over years liao - skin all wrinkled up. Good thing is he's in Tampines so easier to go for the class after school.

■ Art Class : Saw a RC organising an Art Class for children near our home. Class is on Sundays morning. The girl's drawing is atrocious beyond words. If she wants an easel, she better draw properly. She's earning the stickers to get her easel - actually I'm playing time that's why.

■ Dancing : Athena likes to dance so thought of letting her learn social dancing instead of the usual ballet. Gotta find out the costs and then see how whether there's a need to give her so many arty lessons.

■ I Can Read : Very enthusiastic to put her in, but now I must weigh what is really suitable for her.

■ Violin : She told me she wanted to play the violin, I don't know if its because of what she saw in the concert or if it's really interest. I don't mind letting her play the violin also. It'll be so nice to have both sisters - one playing the organ; the other violin.
Managed to find out from Jenny where Elizabeth goes for her lesson, so I have additional school to check out. Must see if cost is justifiable.. or maybe I let the younger one play.Umm...

Aricia

And her coconut trees

I think it's time to..

stop breastfeeding now. Aricia's been playing, my pumping has seen the downs to ups and now it has dropped a little again.

Although I think it's a pity (and a confirmed decision) to let go of everything now coz' there's no turning back after this... but I've done my best. I did managed to relactate, only thing is I'm not able to give her the full feed everytime. There's still milk but it's a waste of time pumping = very little milk. I can spend more time with her, now I have to ask KZ to look after her while I pump.

No more moo-ing.. I am happy and reluctant to let go now. Don't worry won't turn suicidal. I think it's also better this way coz' I can have more time and I can...... FREEDOM!! Paint the town red. I had been a hermit these weeks.

Since sister-in-law (due soon) don't like to use used stuffs, I may end up throwing all my pumps away. At least it'll free up the space in the cupboard.

Misinterpreted

I speak to Athena in an adult manner, using some words which adults use. (so hoping she'll speak in an adult way) All the time she understands me until recently.

On Sunday, we were on our way home after the Mozart concert. She was trying her luck to get me to bring her go gai-gai. No luck! I told her "It's late now, and you have school tomorrow. We'll talk about it next time." Immediately the girl started crying "why you tell me talk next time? I haven't finish talking now, you tell me talk next time. I haven't finish my sentence." * uh? * For obvious reasons she didn't understand me. Duh!

Today, she was hopping and wanting to run to the aisle which we needed to go in the supermarket - but yet she was delayed with this Ah-soh walking so slow. Naturally I told her "Athena you can go ahead." "Orr...........you tell me to go to my head." *slap my own head *

So how? Speak to her in child-like sentences??

La..la..la....(tune of Brahams lullaby)

See how this girl sleeps. We put her head near the top and she's turned the wrong way (but in actual fact this is the correct way to place a baby in her cot - legs to end of cot)

Taken 2 nights before, both of them took up our whole bed while napping .

Room door

This is finally up! Took me days to complete this simple task of painting the sticks pink; glue them together.

Had to pull down Athena's Aurora from the centre of the door to move to the side. And when it's side by side, I feel the Snow White stands out to me - very sweet looking.
What to do? Athena was the one who wanted orange colour for hers so I let her do it.

Anyway, you presume their room is Princess theme right? Nope! Friends who have been to our house knows its my favourite Pooh bear. With Pooh bedsheets, small rug, hanger, even baby cot has Pooh (only setback is that when I bought the cot bumper in Johannesburg, they didn't have the bedsheet) etc.. I wanted to buy a Pooh TV, CD player and a telephone... but I think it's absurb. One day they'll hate and want to change to something they like. Then how? Money wasted!!

Aricia

Aricia has finally learnt that her vocal chords can stretch...... she's literally screaming. Haha! You think she's a small girl and wait till she opens her mouth..damn scary. Mighty lungs! Can win Athena liao.. who screamed when the airport staffs in London had to scan her smelly bear.

You can see her personality slowly showing now. She loves to be cuddled when she's alert, but when she wants to sleep - now - she lets you rock her in your arms and then it soothes her; then she wants to be put down on the bed. It took me some time to realise that, coz' all the while she wanted us to carry her. And she definitely showed more independence as compared to Athena, while I must still say that Athena was a easier baby to take care.

Sometimes I wonder..... what if Aricia was born first? I think I would have been scared shit and immediately go on the PILL.

Aricia loves to stick her fingers in her mouth. She used to refuse the pacifier, but a few days ago she was happily sucking it until I stop my helper from giving it to her (she gave it to her without asking me) coz' I still put her to me once in a while and she'll get confused.
I was thinking that she would want the pacifier once I give the go ahead..but I wouldn't want to risk having : Athena Number 2 - who would always want it. Now I'm wondering if her slight mumbling in her speech was due to the pacifier. But in this case, it's between "sucking fingers or sucking pacifier? Can't chop off the fingers if I want to wean her right?"

Children's Mozart Festival

About the Children's Mozart Festival
The Children’s Mozart Festival is a weekend of 3 different events full of musical fun and education for children of all ages. They’ll be introduced to the life and music of Mozart, one of the greatest classical music composers of all time. The programmes are interactive, combining engaging storytelling with live orchestral performances and even dancing!

The children will hear all about young Mozart, meet real musicians up close, dance the way Mozart’s friends danced and experience a real concert performance.

We encourage, laughter, crying, yelling, talking and running around…. After all, that is what Mozart would have done!

SYNOPSIS:

About :- "A Baroque Dance Party"

Mozart loved parties (just like the rest of us), and some say he was a great dancer! He composed many pieces of dance music for the many parties that were a hit in Vienna during his time. Find out what it must have been like in 18th Century Vienna at our Baroque Dance Party!

Learn a simple baroque dance especially choreographed for the Childrens' Mozart Festival based on Mozart's "6 Country Dances" for String Trio (performed 'live' by musicians from the New Festival Orchestra) and experience dance music the way Mozart’s friends would have 200 years ago! The children will experience for themselves the "rhythmic groove" of 18th Century dance music, and have lots and lots of fun - they will never listen to dance music the same way again!

About :- "A Symphony Concert for All"
What is a music festival without a great concert? The Children’s Mozart Festival presents A Symphony Concert for All, featuring the New Festival Orchestra and the very young Nicholas Ho on piano performing Mozart's Piano Concerto No.14! Learn about the difference between a concerto and a symphony, all about the instruments that make up a symphony orchestra and even about concert etiquette in this very special performance.

The program will include Mozart’s first symphony composed when he was 8 years old and songs from his first opera ‘ Bastiene et Bastinenne’ he wrote at age 12, as well as everyone's favourite "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik"! Make this your child's FIRST EVER classical music concert!
.............................................................................................
I was looking forward to this as I had missed the SSO. And thought might as well let her learn more about her "Daddy"- (we were in the streets when she saw a picture statue in Salzburg, and she started calling him daddy).

On 20th Jan (Sat)
Athena & myself went for the Baroque Dance Party at Substation. We learnt how they dance, and I think it's better if the dancers were to wear the 18th century costume to make us feel 'more in the mood'. We (parents with their children) partnered one another and dance in a circle.
A little disappointed but well.. we've got a new dance step. So now must find a minuet (3beat song) to dance.
When the thing ended, I wanted to take a photo of the String Quartet. I think they misunderstood my intention and started playing two songs. So I've got them on video instead.
Video 1
Video 2

Night time, at home, I was revising Athena her music lesson and let her listen to the different instruments of an orchestra so as to prep her up tomorrow. I've always loved classicals (I listen but most of the time don't really know the title - haha!) .. so I hope to instill this love to my children.

21st Jan (Sun)
It's a good thing that Athena & myself left the house much earlier coz' I was LOST! I mistook the Singapore Conference Hall for the NTUC Auditorium so happily drove past .. then I had to find parking space; there was no way for me to make a U-turn so I parked the opposite building and walked across it.
I explained to Athena the instruments, and showed her the piece of paper I drew of the Orchestra and asked her if they are sitting in the right place. However did explain that it's not the full Orchestra so the Timpani that she wants to see is not there.
Anyway the concert started, and Rosemarie did say "if the children wants..they can come and sit on the floor infront."
And you know kids are kids.. they will start running towards the stage to see. Then some will run back to their mommies/daddies. I know it's a little noisy and there's this F@#! angmoh woman sitting across me so F@#!-ing irritating. As it is, she was tsk tsk tsk-ing every children that walk past her even those that merely walked towards the stage & back. Hey! Kids are kids what. I've noticed some parents did try to tell their children to be quiet...but the children forgot and then....
By the way, it did say it's CHILDREN's Mozart Festival right, so let the child enjoy himself/herself. If she wanted to act that she's so damn cultured to go concerts, then go SSO concerts. Stupid angmoh think you what! Feel like telling her "yah our Singaporean children are all ill-bred. No use tsk tsk-ing."
She kept tsk-tsk-tsk-ing, it got on my nerves that I feel like taking Athena's water bottle and whacked her hard on her head. Or get the double bass and knock her out - then no more tsk tsk anymore.

During the intermission, children are allowed to go on stage to get close up close to the instruments.

One lucky girl was then given an opportunity to be a conductor. So lucky! Click here

Songs the Orchestra played
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, K525
Piano Concerto No 14 in E Flat Major, K.449
Bastiene et Bastinenne
Symphony No 1 in E Flat Major, KV16

Video of Leslie as Bastiene

More explanation in Athena's blog

Baby signing?

Having Number 2 means I can explore all other cores which I've not with Athena.

With Athena, she was on GD and Tumble Tots. Now with Aricia, I thought if I should explore SCM and Gymboree. Then see which one works.... and obviously no Number 3 to get the best of everything. Haha!

But something which I thought is of interest to me would be baby signing. I can't imagine what would hubby's and our parents' reaction be like!

I remember my girlfriend, Angeline, told me she tried baby signing on her daughter Alexandra and nope.. her daughter spoke when it's time to. At first I thought Baby signing is like "hey! my girl's not deaf or mute, why should I be signing?" and " wouldn't it make my girl 哑叭 (mute)then?" But hey look! Alexandra turned out alright, so it should be okay.

Maybe signing will also help me to cool down my nerves.. until I start a new baby signing ''running after a kid with a cane''

Read on more

Aricia is 4 months old !!

Aricia is 4 months old !!

As in the chinese practice, at 4 months we give them something like a chicken and let them lick - so as to wish them "eat good food in life" that kind of meaning.
For the past 3 months too, we've been too busy to remember to buy her a small cake to mark her next coming of month age. So this time round, we thought we'd get her a bigger cake to make up for it. Haha! Actually it's the parents (ahem me..) will eat it.

At Swensons where we first had our own dinner

Aricia a little bored

Taken with my 2 little ones

We decided to come back home to to celebrate for her.

Cheerful & smiley baby

Happy Birthday (noticed who kept staring at the cake)

Birthday song. video

After the song, Athena took a bite on the chocolate, gave Aricia a piece as well.

The 2 little kiddos enjoying the chocolate. Um.. Aricia likes it

So messy.

Ha! Although I like Aricia as she is now - small & helpless - but I can't wait to see her grow up and start fighting or bullying her sister.

Having her first taste of food. Chicken!! She likes it.
Chicky time. video

Is it fair??

Mom is very conflicting, always say things to her benefit.

She wants Athena to stay over at her place. If Athena says yes; she quickly hold onto her hands "okay,say bye bye to mummy." When Athena wants to go home, she'll always say "why you dowan to stay in ma-ma's house already? I (bought you something / you dowan ma-ma etc...)" And then when Athena stays over she tells me not to call; just incase she suddenly remember you. Hey! My daughter leh! I can't even call and chat with my own daughter? Normally I like to chat with Athena in the car on our way home about her day in school. So logically speaking, we would have to chat over the phone right? * not forgetting about last week's drama when I got mad at her for refusing to talk to me. And I threatened not to let her stay over (bad mummy) * Technically speaking, I wouldn't mind her to stay over once a week, and of course I thought the best suitable time would be on Wednesdays when her music lesson ends very late. Mom accused me of "not letting her stay over, next time when she goes P1 no chance already." Of course who wouldn't want a break once in a while? Not when you are hands full with 2 kids everyday, putting 1 away somewhere helps me somehow. And if I'm a irresponsible mother, I would have left her there everyday since her Kindergarten is just downstairs my mom's place. But since she's my daughter; I am responsible for her (no sobbing please).

LAST NIGHT
I get the 'warning' from mom "there's no need for you to come over to pick her from school. She sees you.. she'll want to go home." Of course lah! Don't mention about the 'dowan to go home', I may have lost some brain cells after my pregnancy but I'm not that stupid to drive all the way down to Tampines just to pick her up from school and go back home after that.
Then I called her and we chatted and next minute she started crying "I want mummy........." and refused to hang up the phone. As usual, I was accused with "what did you tell her to make her cry?"
Why the ..... ? The little girl just thought of the mummy what! Said I make her cry. Well, she didn't stop there..this morning she cried wanted me to bring her to school blah blah.

When I went to Tampines, "you ah....dunno what you tell her. She cry and cry non-stop."

ARGH!!

Toys

Was surfing through the internet last night when I chanced upon this. Mind Toys

You may have come across toys of such kind some times when you go about shopping in malls. I don't gain anything by spreading the word around thru my blog; neither am I the boss (if only I'm that capable).

Usually when I buy toys, I like toys which can teach; uses logical thinking etc.. which explains the toys that Athena has are usually things like tangrams puzzles; Sudoku;Legos; her LeapPad (OMG, that one have to keep buying cartridges..) her other toys eg.doctor's kit; ironing kit etc.. are usually gifts. I wouldn't waste my money buying such toys although it's what they call "pretend play" toy. Oh well.......... call me gniao lor! Must get my money worth.

My reads

extracted from a book I'm reading

Her development

I noticed Aricia tends to show more interest in her surroundings now. She also seems to know a little of the things I'm doing for her. Eg. she knows when I'm about to start my m&m'ments. And when we were in the 'session' she smiles knowing that I'm going to rock her side to side or she'll look for my fingers. Then she starts laughing.

Today, I tried the finger puppets for the first time and she displayed interest in the 'funny-looking animals.'

When I played her baby VCD, she was watching with her mouth open. I explained to her while watching it with her (told you my mouth never stop yakking). Don't know if she's listening but I guess she should be..... Today, she finally paid attention to the VCD! Yippee!

Prodigy

I have prodigy at home.

Never look down on her age, coz she plays well while hicupping *hee hee*


*More photos in here
Click here

Milk wanted

I really envy those who always say they have ample supply of milk for their baby. And then I start wondering why can't I?

Then recently I've heard of some one's daughter having excessive milk. She can be feeding baby on one side and leaking on the other side that she has to use a container to contain the milk. Then it's like never-ending coz' every feed she gets one feed etc.. and she never gets to use the EBM or should I say LBM-Leaking BreastMilk.
My SIL told my mom that her sister also had excess milk.

Then my mom had to start her sentence : "Ah Lily love breastmilk so much that if next time you also have excessive milk + you don't need it, you can help her feed Aricia with it." Thank goodness my SIL was alright with the idea.
Usually people would say things like "I'm breastfeeding and I supplement with formula." I'm just the other way round, I formula feed supplementing with EBMs.

I'm just wondering if there's anything like a Milk Bank here in Singapore. Or perhaps people here are simply selfish, they don't like to share with people (but would want to take), they'd rather discard it away.

Should I or should I not??

You would have read in my April 07, 2006 entry that I was so impressed with the Stagea ELS-01. Now I'm thinking if I should change my El-7

I thought since I want my children to take up music all the way (and play much better than mummy - lack of practice now) perhaps I should invest in a nicer effects kind of organ? It can probably help if we needed to save the settings on USB or diskdrive.
I remember I learnt the organ with the HS8, which is like history, and I had to use a diskdrive. And I can't have that nice sounds I play at home. Then we had the oldest (my grandmother model with the pull up/down thingy. So o-biang looking....haha! Technology is advancing so quickly, we can't seem to catch up.

Nicer effects : - Motivation for the children or for the mummy to practice more??

Start to recognise her surroundings

Mum told me in the night that it seems like Aricia is beginning to recognise her surroundings.

In the day time, Aricia is alright in staying at mom's place (of course I was there) but in the night......(when I was out with Athena), she started to look around her; turning her head left & right and started to pout her lips and started crying. Couldn't really stop her from crying and wailing out loud. Sigh.........

And I have a feeling that Aricia will not want to stay over in any place except her own home, which is to our disadvantage. Umm..

Charming children

I told Athena that today is Elizabeth's birthday and she went "again?" No, her birthday that day, we celebrate." When I tried to explain to her, she was in denial. And asked "Elizabeth celebrate at home?" "yes, she's celebrating with her family" hoping to change subject. Then she asked me again, "is Amanda going to Elizabeth's house to celebrate?" "No, she's going to celebrate with her family, just like sometimes daddy & mummy celebrate for you without your friends."

So how are children suppose to know that adults always like to celebrate their birthday on a weekend, and if your birthday falls on a weekday - then it's brought forward.

When I casually mentioned to Jenny about this, she told me too that Eliz asked her "mummy, why you change my birthday to 14?" Very innocent remark but I thought she was quite mature in her question.

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth !

New place found

Met up with Angeline to collect some books from her. We chatted and then .... as usual, we both brought out our camera. I don't think anyone is as crazy as us to keep snapping photos. I remember we used to 'click' 'click' whenever we did our sightseeing. Funny! We went sightseeing during our one year together being in the same team... And we didn't have much of photos taken together. Haha!
And now, we keep taking pictures of our little darlings.

Congratulations too to Angeline for baby-on-the way. Can't wait to see the little one.

I remembered Angeline told me about a parenting forum that she had started, and had been bugging her to give me the web address. Then the busy her was..... anyway, now that I have it it's :

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dramamama/

Kudos to her for starting this from scratch. Well... I must tell you she's a very capable woman.

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Dug out the only photos I have of her & me

Alcatraz

When people talk about famous prisons in the world, they will first think of Alcatraz. And not our Changi.
Caught a glimpse of Escape from Alcatraz starring Clint Eastwood and... never heard of the rests on HBO Hits. And I was soon transported back to the federal prison which I had visited way back in 1995. Anyone who visited SFO, should make a trip there otherwise your tour is incomplete. It so happened that when I was there, Sean Connery and casts were filming The Rock. That's the closest I can get to a Hollywood actor.

Can this fly??

This has got to be the interesting looking design coming from our home. Of course done by my helper, I don't have such patience and moreover was busy with Aricia.

My day

It is indeed a surprised sight to see me up by 8am on a weekend (normally I sleep in till 9+ to 10am) just becoz' I needed to pump. I didn't hear Aricia crying for milk a 6am, so I thought I had better get up to put her to breasts. But hubby was already feeding her, so I put her after I pumped. So tired.. been surfing till 3+am (I mean this is like the only time I can find what! Day time I'm already so busy) and feel like going back to bed - but its already close to 9am when I finished with Aricia.

Went out to have breakfast, did grocery shopping for the entire week and by the time we got back home was close to 12pm. Showered and dressed Athena up. Pumped; showered and left the house at 1.35pm and by the time we arrived at The Tropica, it was already close to 2pm and raining. You know I love the rain but now it's getting on my nerves coz' the clothes smell funny. I'm not going into the details of the party, read Athena's blog.
Generally I'm happy that it took her a shorter time to warm up. And she did well during the party, not afraid when it came to the playing with friends; pinata and singing the birthday song; getting her cake. Please don't be mistaken, it's not that I'm yao-gui.. but to think that she actually did so much better now - I'm more concerned about her coming out from her shy-ness and not the amount of sweets she picked from the pinata.It's not much by the standard of the other kids but she's happy and she got some praises from me.
As for myself, I didn't eat much - just trying to finish off some rice from Athena's plate. Felt quite full.. maybe I had a heavy breakfast. But a tad disappointed with myself when I was video-ing the birthday song - I had to accidentally hit the timer and I couldn't record in time. By the time I got it, it was the ending.. Sorry Jenny! would love to show it to you.

Hubby had to come to disappoint me when he said "do you know that she slept just after you left until now?" Why is it that Aricia always behave so well when I'm not around, hubby can get to watch a movie on HBO and I can't?! That's unfair!! The first thing I had to do was to pump again. And my supply was more.. is this what they meant by "be stress-free and relax to have more milk? Coz'..........I was really laid back and ..........but how am I suppose to feel this way all the time?
We 'fooled around' with the 2 kiddos. Let Athena do another coloring, I took back another 3 more pieces to keep her occupied for the day (coz' she will also keep talking about the party in the next few days, so it's good to let her have something from the party to do)
Check out their blogs

I thought the 2 kiddos would leave me some time to rest and blog. But no......Aricia knows mummy's home and want me to carry her to sleep. Athena wants me to play with her. So although I had slightly more milk the moment I got back home; my last pump abt 2 hrs ago saw the usual amount.

The remarks

As usual, we would always tease Athena by suggesting to bring Aricia to somewhere else etc..

Earlier on, brother came by to pick mom up home. And we kindda teased her "okay, say goodbye to mei-mei.." and brother carried Aricia to the main door. She was trying to stop us and then suddenly she passed this comment :"why everybody everytime like this one?" Made us feel so guilty teasing a young kid.

Athena & her drawing

Athena has been so excited when I spilled the beans to her that I will get her the "blue blue colour easel." She's been bugging me for 2 days to.......... "mummy, let's go ToysRUs to buy my blue colour art & craft."

Yah.. the mother has more important thing to do now. Meanwhile she got a portion of mahjong paper from KZ, who's replacing our shoe cabinet lining, and started drawing.
Yesterday, she proudly showed me a more decent photo of her 'house'

I think she'll bug me to let her draw everyday after she comes back from school.

Aricia

Did I ever mentioned that Aricia has these streaks of brownish hair, that looks like highlighted hair??

I believe it will outgrow, so I simply had to grab the pixs. Nice? Her hair's quite curly too!

Been sucking her fingers, as I've mentioned before, so I got it all down on pictures and videos.

Aricia sucking fingers.1
Aricia sucking fingers.2

Photos of my little princess Aricia (actually a superbly fierce one) and me this afternoon


In the evening, she was looking (crossed eye) at the bottle and then she noticed me snapping away

And oh yes.......... I forgot to upload this video taken on Thursday. She was laughing (tho' usually she'd laughed louder) but stopped when she saw the camera.
Click here

That's how I'm feeling now

Things are looking up a little, I do not know if its due to cessation of my menses (hormonal changes) or if the relactation did help. I am able to pump out more milk for Aricia. *clap hands* Even if its the former reason that causes it, I think I'll choose the latter to psycho myself - in other words : positive thinking and then it = more milk??
Whatever it is, although it is only Week 1, I must thank God for being there and sending his people (my supports) to help me. Nevertheless, I couldn't have done it without.......

The THANK YOU award goes to (in no particular order) :
☺ Mom - for helping me to put up Athena at her place despite her health, so that I can relactate in a stress-free & relaxed environment. For offering to come by to help in the daytime (though she had to cope with household chores at home)(for what also? Aricia needs to suckle my breasts not hers...oh well ..funny!)
☺ Uma (Lactation Consultant) - for her guidance and encouragments
☺ Brother - who thought I was suicidal and offered counselling (don't worry I won't jump off from my unit - 12th floor too high, die an ugly death..)
☺ Moo Han - for being there and encouraging me (whom I'm still waiting for her to give me her EBMs..heehee!)
☺ BMSG - volunteers who listened to me; replied to my emails.. and never found me to be a nuisance

Here's to more hard work!!

A geez of what has been happening since the last time I blogged on this issue
Wednesday
Was hallucinating that I was in a shopping frenzy.. darn! that bad... can't stay at home long. So was glad that I had arranged to see Uma again today. Glad that I managed to give her a feed at home before leaving home.
Okay.........so put her to breasts when she's more sleepy coz' she's at the age where she can fight back if she doesn't want to go on breasts. Better to offer comfort and not adversion. So it's pump and pump....
Had to bring Athena to her music lesson, suppose to ask mom but coz' I need to know what's happening in her class so decided to pop by. Anyway, it's okay I missed one feed but made sure I pumped the moment I got back home.

Thursday
Although I must admit feeding time is not so stressed now that I go without the SNS, it's slightly shorter and Aricia cry less.. she's happy ; I'm happy. She's still attached to the breasts - good news.
I've been drinking and drinking.. goash I've never drank so much in a day but oh well.. it's a good habit that I should cultivate.
But I haven't been resting, which is one of the criterion for a good breastfeeding routine. But how am I suppose to rest when she's drinking so often?
Umm... milk seems to increase by a few mls. But gradually I see the 'sun' (cheerful) though it's raining cats and dogs outside.

Friday
Same routine as Thursday but I am a little frenzied over staying indoors. Oh my! I'm hallucinating again.. hang on in there Lily, gotta be persistant. Oh dear! It's the weekend already and think I'll be at home?? Maybe hubby wants to go out..how? Bring the pump out like I used to?
I'm beginning to feel so thankful that I had extra hands at home, KZ can help me feed Aricia by bottle after she was on me.. so that I can pump. With that, I was also able to incorporate some reading and M & M'ments to Aricia.

perserverance.. Even if it doesn't reach the stage of a full supply at each feed, I am thankful that I'm able to gear up a little. Meaning : more sacrifices on my part - cannot go out too often, even if I do...not too long.

The untold story

These are my inner feelings which I haven't really shared (I think). My brother thought I was suicidal.. I could still joked when I asked him "you thought I was really under severe depression and suicidal?" I found it funny that my mom had exaggerated to him and told me how depressed I was etc..over the issue of "No Milk!" And they had to bring me up to my auntie; cousins..and even my family doctor when he asked where I was ... not that I'm ashamed of the whole thing.

Mom did ask me if my frustrations over this breastfeeding issue was indirectly vented on Athena (scolding her). I did explain it is two different entity, Athena's behaviour was tolerated over some time and some chances were given to her before I start scolding or smacking her.

Brother did ask me why I feel the way I feel. And to sum it up in a more concise manner :
► My guilt over Athena (never gave) turned into my regret for not persevering on with Aricia. I had it all good-flowing for me but I had to put the end myself.
► And my reasons for stopping direct breastfeeding were unfounded. I was bleeding from scar & blood from nipples (but still pumped - not conscientious though) and decided to stop, but turned out my scar didn't tear. " Life is full of "what ifs", if we can judge or tell what's is going to happen next then this world is then perfect. And then have you thought of the consequences, what if your scar really tear? Isn't this more important than breastmilk."
* words in red are quotes from brother's wisely advice *
► Athena has bronchitis which could be a heriditary thing from hubby who had childhood asthma. And research shows that breastfeeding can reduce the chances of asthma and other ailments. Probably she wasn't given any, that's why she got it. I wouldn't want Aricia to follow in her shoes. "Research are always one-sided. There are always 2 sides to a research, you read the positive sides of it."
► I wanted to "undo the wrong I did on Athena and give it to Aricia." "Do you think you're indirectly giving yourself stress and also stress to Aricia? Supposedly in other issues, eg. Athena can't do certain things.. you'll be putting the pressure on Aricia then making sure she does it or does better than her sister." (darn! that's bloody true man! Bad bad mummy...)
► I wasn't really that depressed depressed but rather sad. I won't harm myself or harm my child. I'm just thinking "why can't I do it?" "Supply doesn't come, if you have means you have." - another misconception until I explained to him Demand = Supply (oh man! They had better read up on BF before Ignatius is born. I think I'll be the parasite to them "oi, breastfeeding or not?Why dowan?..."hee!)

That explained my differing statements whenever I say "have have lor.... don't have don't have lor......." I'm never a fighter; always wanting the easy way out, but I just didn't want to surrender without fighting this war. Just don't ask me why? Probably because I felt this is the only chance for me to do it. Unless I have (accident child) number 3 then.. for sure no matter what happens I'll hang on to BF. Which I think Moo Han will be able to know how I kept changing my mind with relactate - yes or no.
At least in years to come, I can relate my story and perhaps I should relate my story to BMSG - who also did gave me some advice when I ran into some problems while BF. See! I told you, I didn't want history to repeat itself so I've made attempts to contact BMSG before I gave birth.

A fighter that meant to be bragged about to the whole world? No, not really.. I would prefer to remain humble. I choose to tell so as to convey the message that :
- it doesn't matter if you've done something wrong. Share it with the people around you, you'll be surprised with the number of supporters coming up and the various suggestions you get at the end of the day.
- if giving it up is so easy, then life is never filled with challenges
- it makes you stronger emotionally and mentally