Saturday, February 28, 2009

Horrible feeling!

It's horrible, really horrible feeling. I see their eyes recovering and I wish my eyes could turn from red to green with jealousy.

It's getting no where to recovery. And I'm tired from the uncomfortable feeling that I feel with my left eye. And on Thursday morning, I noticed my right eye is a little pink. (This will spread to both eyes). I am sick and tired of the constant tearing, the sticky discharge.

On Wednesday, I went back to the doctor that prescribed KZ antibiotics after I brought Athena for her follow up. Doc gave me antibiotics, which I had to make sure is stronger than Amoxycillin, and a different eye drop from my first doc and KZ. I pray for a speedy recovery, this is really so inconvenient. And I still had to drive around, it's really irritating to have the sun glare, and I keep tearing. I drive with one hand sometimes, then I get fed up and stuck a tissue paper on the sides - looking so ridiculous. Sometimes, my left eye can involuntarily close. Scary! Cham leh.. like numb liao.

Will I go blind?

By today, I couldn't take it. Went back to see him again. This time round, my right eye is red too! Shucks! Given Terramycin. His advice is to go to see him again on Tuesday, and then if it doesn't get well, he'll refer me to the eye specialist. Can I wait that long? For 2 days, I wonder if I'll go blind. Then I cannot see my children growing up, and them getting married. I know it sounds corny to you, but the idea of "it's your eyes and the window of the world", the thought of the window being closed forever just scares me. And what makes it worst is that, anyone with conjunctivitis often wake up with they eyelashes stuck - sticky discharge. I often have to go to the toilet one-eye-jack and use the cotton pad to slowly clean my eyes, finally opening my eyes and "oh yes, I'm still not blind" relief thought.
I told hubby maybe I should go down on my own on Monday. He scolded me "because you always rub your eyes that's why never get well", I didn't! I merely cleaned off the tearing. Siao eh! As if I'm so mad to go and rub my eyes when it's already so painful. KZ say I always use the same tissue, I told her I do change the sides and throw away. She said no I use the same side (siao eh... like I so stupid to use the bacteria infected parts to clean back. And if I'm so siao, I wouldn't even bother about sanitizing my hands that often and spraying whatever things I've touched with the Dettol spray), one piece of tissue she wipe 3 times and then throw. Wah piang eh.... I know this is not the time to save money, but I can use more than that. 4 corners + 4 middle portion of each sides + the middle = easily 9 times and throw.

Tuesday, sounds great too! Coz' the children won't have anything on after school. Was thinking, where could he refer me to? Eye Centre in SGH? Far.. but I still have KZ to help me pick up the children and worry if she'll get lost trying to take bus for the first time from Aricia school to Athena school. But I thought, since I get the contact for East Shore, might be a little faster. Don't have to wait until the cows come home in SNEC. But Tuesday?? Abit too long right? Or maybe Monday I go down on my own. Then supposedly if I can't get back home in time, ask her to bring Aricia to Ros class .. or skip again? Ehh........

Headache. Headache. Not from thinking of what to do, I think my heart tells me to go on Monday -Eastshore. Don't want to prolong too long, I need to get my eyes well soon. I mean real soon. But headache from the restricted widescreen (2.39:1) vision I've been having and trying to tilt my head upwards like a proud sombong person. Slept alot these days, can't do much, which partially explains why I can be so tired from going through Athena's work. Tonight's exception, I'm bored from closing my eyes too much and getting them stuck. So I'm blogging with the lappie screen light dimmed. Heavy eyes! Feel like closing my eyes and sleep, do nothing and be a fat pig.
Ear pain, ear pain. Damn! I feel like an old woman stuck with health problems. So inconvenient.

I remember I had conjunctivitis once when I was flying, that was due to contact lens. For that, I was given 2 days MC. Now that I'm no longer wearing contact lens.. more than 1 week??

Time to close my eyes and sleep. I want to get well soon!

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