A tongue in cheek SMS between a girlfriend (secondary school classmate) today left me thinking if I'm regretting over my choice of life, now that I can't party/enjoy life coz' I have my children as a full time commitments. Her reply was "who asked you to get married so early?" Although I joked that I didn't want to rot on the shelf, but I guess maybe it was 'the time' God had planned for us to settle down. Just as he had suddenly promoted us to 'parents' after a year of marriage, to perhaps make me grounded. Duh! I was so much closer to God up there and he had to do this to me?? Okay kidding.....
Can we choose the way we want to lead our lives and future? Or do we just let things happen and then say "it's God plan!"
I don't know, but whatever it is - there's no turning back for me. I can't pretend that I never had two beautiful (ahem.. trying to sound endearing) but hair-tearing kids. I can't pretend that I had never met my hubby. Actually I never even paid attention to his presence in the first place- haha!
But perhaps I'll look back on my (OMG! 32 years of life) life and think it had been a wonderful life for me so far.
Minus the childhood which was fun (obviously) and got things my way (yippee!thanks to being the youngest in the family); being enemy with my sister and love my brother; got average grades in an all-girls' convent school. And one American (Dave-plays the saxophone) thought I was really a gal studying to be a nun. blah blah blah..... I think I've somehow fulfilled what I had always wanted.
1) My ambition was to be a flight stewardess when I was young. I did and spent many wonderful years in there with intangible memories and good value instillments in me. Big thanks to SQ!
2) When I was older and more realistic of my ugly looks wanted to be in Public Relations. Although I didn't pursue a degree immediately after school, I went on doing part-time courses in Mass Communications while flying. With my experience plus (maybe) the Adv Dip I had I landed in Corporate Communications. Corp Comms is me, and if I ever find a job in the future - it's going to be Corp Comms again.
3) Own business. Just as I started out on my own and going slow; got preggie second time and then now I've to fully commit to my children. When the time is right, I'll try again. If it doesn't reap, then I might as well give it up. And I really want to do what I'm interested in... but I just dunno how to start. So my dreams of being a BIG BOSS is still unaccomplished.
3) Marry a rich old dying man. Haha! Not the part about old dying man. My hubby is 8 years older than I am, quite a big gap. Rich? He earns alot but..... he's very thrifty choosing to live in HDB flat and drive a small car. So we live our life (not in poorly manner) but not in luxury either. And the rests goes to savings; retirement plans etc.... so that we won't get dumped in the Old Folks Home by our children next time.
Sometimes I do wish to be a rich tai-tai but then tai-tais have their problems too! They get criticized by other jealous tai-tais; their husbands might cheat on them etc.. I think I just want to lead a normal and no-backstabbing life. No one to chauffeur me around, but I'm a chauffeur.
I wonder if my hubby intends to move, where we will move to? Upgrade to condo or landed property? Or worst still! Stay in this flat until we die!!
4) Children. We didn't plan to have children so soon. But perhaps God wanted me to be grounded, and he probably got worried if hubby forgot his promise on our wedding day "no need to fly after one year okay?" - wait?! Did he mean no need to fly; stay at home to shake leg or no need to fly but you better find a ground job?
Missed my job and was like.... "ai yoh. How come pregnant?" To be on the safe side I tendered resignation immediately and bumped around the streets in Singapore. Did pass the interview to go back as flying mother. Was happy like crazy only to be stopped by hubby and received worldly advise from Aunty Pat. Okay, so it's "Really you cannot fly after you have children", so did I regret that I had to stop flying so soon? A little but what can I do? I can't terminate an innocent life! A job can be replaced but not a child!
5) No more fun? Obviously right?! Now that I have two kids, how to have fun? The only fun is playing; teasing them. And then the seriousness sets in - study! Apart from that, I guess I had my fair share of fun - pubbing ; going on roller coaster rides (front seat) a few times on the same ride. Shiok! No more two-some holidaying with mom (we had so much fun!).
6) Can't pursue further in my studies.
Let's just assume that things didn't happen the way it were.
1) I wouldn't even started blogging, and you reading this.
2) Assuming I met my hubby but rejected his proposal, we are either still together or gone our separate ways. a) Now then I start feeling the clock ticking on me b) find another guy c)really going to rot on the shelf
3) Assuming I didn't meet my hubby, I'm either with someone better or worse ( in terms of personality and financial backing). And I probably wouldn't even have taken up Mass Comm.
4) I could have just continued on to JC and my path is different
5) Or I'm either (still) in SQ and being called a 'bitchy Leading Stewardess (or perhaps Chief Stewardess by now)' or choose a ground job in SQ.
6) Never knew how wonderful it is to have children
7) Never knew that post pregnancy body is horrible. Never get to live with my flabs. (thank goodness I don't have stretch marks or ugly veins)
Somehow there's no point in looking back and regret. Most importantly things happened as they meant to be and I guess I did enjoy my life so far - and will continue to do so.
Can we choose the way we want to lead our lives and future? Or do we just let things happen and then say "it's God plan!"
I don't know, but whatever it is - there's no turning back for me. I can't pretend that I never had two beautiful (ahem.. trying to sound endearing) but hair-tearing kids. I can't pretend that I had never met my hubby. Actually I never even paid attention to his presence in the first place- haha!
But perhaps I'll look back on my (OMG! 32 years of life) life and think it had been a wonderful life for me so far.
Minus the childhood which was fun (obviously) and got things my way (yippee!thanks to being the youngest in the family); being enemy with my sister and love my brother; got average grades in an all-girls' convent school. And one American (Dave-plays the saxophone) thought I was really a gal studying to be a nun. blah blah blah..... I think I've somehow fulfilled what I had always wanted.
1) My ambition was to be a flight stewardess when I was young. I did and spent many wonderful years in there with intangible memories and good value instillments in me. Big thanks to SQ!
2) When I was older and more realistic of my ugly looks wanted to be in Public Relations. Although I didn't pursue a degree immediately after school, I went on doing part-time courses in Mass Communications while flying. With my experience plus (maybe) the Adv Dip I had I landed in Corporate Communications. Corp Comms is me, and if I ever find a job in the future - it's going to be Corp Comms again.
3) Own business. Just as I started out on my own and going slow; got preggie second time and then now I've to fully commit to my children. When the time is right, I'll try again. If it doesn't reap, then I might as well give it up. And I really want to do what I'm interested in... but I just dunno how to start. So my dreams of being a BIG BOSS is still unaccomplished.
3) Marry a rich old dying man. Haha! Not the part about old dying man. My hubby is 8 years older than I am, quite a big gap. Rich? He earns alot but..... he's very thrifty choosing to live in HDB flat and drive a small car. So we live our life (not in poorly manner) but not in luxury either. And the rests goes to savings; retirement plans etc.... so that we won't get dumped in the Old Folks Home by our children next time.
Sometimes I do wish to be a rich tai-tai but then tai-tais have their problems too! They get criticized by other jealous tai-tais; their husbands might cheat on them etc.. I think I just want to lead a normal and no-backstabbing life. No one to chauffeur me around, but I'm a chauffeur.
I wonder if my hubby intends to move, where we will move to? Upgrade to condo or landed property? Or worst still! Stay in this flat until we die!!
4) Children. We didn't plan to have children so soon. But perhaps God wanted me to be grounded, and he probably got worried if hubby forgot his promise on our wedding day "no need to fly after one year okay?" - wait?! Did he mean no need to fly; stay at home to shake leg or no need to fly but you better find a ground job?
Missed my job and was like.... "ai yoh. How come pregnant?" To be on the safe side I tendered resignation immediately and bumped around the streets in Singapore. Did pass the interview to go back as flying mother. Was happy like crazy only to be stopped by hubby and received worldly advise from Aunty Pat. Okay, so it's "Really you cannot fly after you have children", so did I regret that I had to stop flying so soon? A little but what can I do? I can't terminate an innocent life! A job can be replaced but not a child!
5) No more fun? Obviously right?! Now that I have two kids, how to have fun? The only fun is playing; teasing them. And then the seriousness sets in - study! Apart from that, I guess I had my fair share of fun - pubbing ; going on roller coaster rides (front seat) a few times on the same ride. Shiok! No more two-some holidaying with mom (we had so much fun!).
6) Can't pursue further in my studies.
Let's just assume that things didn't happen the way it were.
1) I wouldn't even started blogging, and you reading this.
2) Assuming I met my hubby but rejected his proposal, we are either still together or gone our separate ways. a) Now then I start feeling the clock ticking on me b) find another guy c)really going to rot on the shelf
3) Assuming I didn't meet my hubby, I'm either with someone better or worse ( in terms of personality and financial backing). And I probably wouldn't even have taken up Mass Comm.
4) I could have just continued on to JC and my path is different
5) Or I'm either (still) in SQ and being called a 'bitchy Leading Stewardess (or perhaps Chief Stewardess by now)' or choose a ground job in SQ.
6) Never knew how wonderful it is to have children
7) Never knew that post pregnancy body is horrible. Never get to live with my flabs. (thank goodness I don't have stretch marks or ugly veins)
Somehow there's no point in looking back and regret. Most importantly things happened as they meant to be and I guess I did enjoy my life so far - and will continue to do so.
No comments:
Post a Comment