As full-time mothers, how many times do we wish we can have time on our own? Most of the times is the answer.
And how are we to have time on our own without help right? Ok.. so come my main question now.
How assured are you leaving your child with a helper? or a nanny?
I'm not! Although I do leave Aricia with KZ, I'm not assured that I can rely on her. Don't be mistaken, from what I see KZ will not ill-treat my children but I'll still not leave her to care for her for long. Although I may risk putting Aricia to harm by her carelessness within that short time span too.
We read in the papers that helpers put things into baby's milk; give toes to let baby suck; smack the child and the worsts - abuse the child. It's sad to see that it does happen around you. Who knows? The constant screaming from a young kid in my block (somewhere) could be due to helper beating child coz' I don't hear the parents' or adult voices. Oh goash!
Now, I leave Aricia in KZ's care for 3-4 hrs when I hit the gym. And not a single time I can work out without thinking how my girl is. I did tell KZ, that should I find out that any of my children have been mistreated I can send her back anytime. Of course there was the assurance from her "no..I will never do it", I did psycho her "let's hope that whatever you do is based on your conscience. And as a Christian, I know you will not. So, let me put trust you in this. If anything happens, you will revoke your conscience more than anything else in this world."
My 3-4hrs is already a big challenge since I never dare to leave her with helper alone. Gf Moo Han will remember how I talk about "not trusting" and how crazy I'll be to bring Aricia out in the morning & back home vv the evening time - even when I only leave the house for less than an hour each time.
Instructions have since been given that
1) she can stop her housework to help care for Aricia for that few hours while I'm in gym
2) she can only feed and play with her. I'll bathe her or (touch wood) give medications or those daily pao-shen/cordeyceps myself.
Mom has seen how KZ feeds her. I was busy with Athena at that time when she saw KZ feeding Aricia while she was on her back. Mom told her never to do that again and how a child can get choke. The moment she said that and quickly lifted Aricia up, she started coughing. KZ seemed oblivious to the fact; thinking it's Aricia's way of rejecting food (she does cough when she don't want any more milk / food) Mom can hear the difference, put her finger in and dug out a piece of bread. ?!?!
Mom did question me if I've seen it. Of course not lah! If I did, I would have told her off immediately. So the point is, even when I'm at home and probably busy somewhere (eg. checking emails; sitting on throne; preparing study materials) KZ is making the mistakes in bringing up a child. I know, she's not a mother herself. She has never cared for any young children before so she does make mistakes. But how assured are you to leave your child in the hands or carelessness on your helper's part?
Dad has seen how she tried to play with Aricia by carrying her and turning her ownself round and round in a fast manner. Told her off, she didn't know about the dangers.
Okay, to be fair let's talk about brother's helper who has cared for children while working in Indonesia. Mom saw how she fed Iggy. Propped the bottle with pillows! Oh my! Frankly speaking, I've seen many lazy parents doing that in strollers too. I mean, why can't you just carry the child up and feed him/her. I will do that even if I'm out shopping (so you see, I always never get my shopping done unless someone is with me). I'd rather let that 15-20mins pass than to see that lovely dress and risk my child getting air from the bottle; or worst still - suffocated from the propped pillows. How careless can some parents be? Tsk tsk.
She didn't even support Iggy's head well when carrying him! So... some helpers talk about "I know how to care for children" depends on how the parents' think. If the parents are the lazy or bo-chap kind.. they think the helpers are doing fine.
How about nanny? Umm... let's put it this way. Although they have the experiences in taking care of children, I find most of them will do little with the child. They will feed the child and put them to sleep or try to lull them to sleep so that they don't have to be so busy themselves. And since they usually have at least 2-3 other kids around, the lesser they will do with each child. Talking about feeding. There's no way you can check what they feed your child. Yah.. spotcheck day they cook meal fit for a king, when you're not around they feed plain porridge. Even my MIL can feed her own grandsons Ikan Kurau citing "cheap, can buy alot" while people like us and some friends I know insists on threadfin, cod etc.. So, you think the nanny will cook quality food? Wait long long..... or you pay more.
Sadly, no nannies (I heard so far) will go the extra mile in talking to your child. So the poor child is not stimulated. [No wonder I'm so stupid! My nanny didn't bother about me.]
Of course easy for me to say since I'm not working (before I get my dear readers cursing at me) but if given the option I'll go playschool. Although..........playschool I also worry about how they take charge of the children. But at least... anything happens I can sue right? Hopefully not at the risk of my child.
Perhaps you can read that I don't trust anyone except myself & my mom. You can see too that I'm involved with my children coz' I'm too kan-cheong over every thing.
Since I'm on this topic. Let me divert the topic a little on how careless some parents can be too! Apart from the feeding child with pillows in stroller, they probably also fed them that way at home. There are some idiot parents who leave their child alone at home! I never leave my child alone at home unless it's a quick dash to throw rubbish in the main chute.
Today, Diksha (Athena's classmate) was locked in by her mother. She was crying "mummy.. open the door." At first I thought she was locked out but she was locked in!! I didn't know how long more she was locked in after that 10mins I went over to their house. Didn't she realise that it's so dangerous. And from what I was told by my SIL, she can climb up/down. Isn't that even more dangerous? I even had an ex-colleague leaving her child at home while she went out to nearby coffeeshop to have her meal. How careless some parents can be? No wonder we read about how some children can drown in pail of water; fall from windows etc.. sometimes even when parents are at home.
Now you know, I'm with the child every single minute of the day (of course KZ will take over for my pee break). Once Aricia don't get too edgy being in mom's place, I'll bring her over while I exercise.
And how are we to have time on our own without help right? Ok.. so come my main question now.
How assured are you leaving your child with a helper? or a nanny?
I'm not! Although I do leave Aricia with KZ, I'm not assured that I can rely on her. Don't be mistaken, from what I see KZ will not ill-treat my children but I'll still not leave her to care for her for long. Although I may risk putting Aricia to harm by her carelessness within that short time span too.
We read in the papers that helpers put things into baby's milk; give toes to let baby suck; smack the child and the worsts - abuse the child. It's sad to see that it does happen around you. Who knows? The constant screaming from a young kid in my block (somewhere) could be due to helper beating child coz' I don't hear the parents' or adult voices. Oh goash!
Now, I leave Aricia in KZ's care for 3-4 hrs when I hit the gym. And not a single time I can work out without thinking how my girl is. I did tell KZ, that should I find out that any of my children have been mistreated I can send her back anytime. Of course there was the assurance from her "no..I will never do it", I did psycho her "let's hope that whatever you do is based on your conscience. And as a Christian, I know you will not. So, let me put trust you in this. If anything happens, you will revoke your conscience more than anything else in this world."
My 3-4hrs is already a big challenge since I never dare to leave her with helper alone. Gf Moo Han will remember how I talk about "not trusting" and how crazy I'll be to bring Aricia out in the morning & back home vv the evening time - even when I only leave the house for less than an hour each time.
Instructions have since been given that
1) she can stop her housework to help care for Aricia for that few hours while I'm in gym
2) she can only feed and play with her. I'll bathe her or (touch wood) give medications or those daily pao-shen/cordeyceps myself.
Mom has seen how KZ feeds her. I was busy with Athena at that time when she saw KZ feeding Aricia while she was on her back. Mom told her never to do that again and how a child can get choke. The moment she said that and quickly lifted Aricia up, she started coughing. KZ seemed oblivious to the fact; thinking it's Aricia's way of rejecting food (she does cough when she don't want any more milk / food) Mom can hear the difference, put her finger in and dug out a piece of bread. ?!?!
Mom did question me if I've seen it. Of course not lah! If I did, I would have told her off immediately. So the point is, even when I'm at home and probably busy somewhere (eg. checking emails; sitting on throne; preparing study materials) KZ is making the mistakes in bringing up a child. I know, she's not a mother herself. She has never cared for any young children before so she does make mistakes. But how assured are you to leave your child in the hands or carelessness on your helper's part?
Dad has seen how she tried to play with Aricia by carrying her and turning her ownself round and round in a fast manner. Told her off, she didn't know about the dangers.
Okay, to be fair let's talk about brother's helper who has cared for children while working in Indonesia. Mom saw how she fed Iggy. Propped the bottle with pillows! Oh my! Frankly speaking, I've seen many lazy parents doing that in strollers too. I mean, why can't you just carry the child up and feed him/her. I will do that even if I'm out shopping (so you see, I always never get my shopping done unless someone is with me). I'd rather let that 15-20mins pass than to see that lovely dress and risk my child getting air from the bottle; or worst still - suffocated from the propped pillows. How careless can some parents be? Tsk tsk.
She didn't even support Iggy's head well when carrying him! So... some helpers talk about "I know how to care for children" depends on how the parents' think. If the parents are the lazy or bo-chap kind.. they think the helpers are doing fine.
How about nanny? Umm... let's put it this way. Although they have the experiences in taking care of children, I find most of them will do little with the child. They will feed the child and put them to sleep or try to lull them to sleep so that they don't have to be so busy themselves. And since they usually have at least 2-3 other kids around, the lesser they will do with each child. Talking about feeding. There's no way you can check what they feed your child. Yah.. spotcheck day they cook meal fit for a king, when you're not around they feed plain porridge. Even my MIL can feed her own grandsons Ikan Kurau citing "cheap, can buy alot" while people like us and some friends I know insists on threadfin, cod etc.. So, you think the nanny will cook quality food? Wait long long..... or you pay more.
Sadly, no nannies (I heard so far) will go the extra mile in talking to your child. So the poor child is not stimulated. [No wonder I'm so stupid! My nanny didn't bother about me.]
Of course easy for me to say since I'm not working (before I get my dear readers cursing at me) but if given the option I'll go playschool. Although..........playschool I also worry about how they take charge of the children. But at least... anything happens I can sue right? Hopefully not at the risk of my child.
Perhaps you can read that I don't trust anyone except myself & my mom. You can see too that I'm involved with my children coz' I'm too kan-cheong over every thing.
Since I'm on this topic. Let me divert the topic a little on how careless some parents can be too! Apart from the feeding child with pillows in stroller, they probably also fed them that way at home. There are some idiot parents who leave their child alone at home! I never leave my child alone at home unless it's a quick dash to throw rubbish in the main chute.
Today, Diksha (Athena's classmate) was locked in by her mother. She was crying "mummy.. open the door." At first I thought she was locked out but she was locked in!! I didn't know how long more she was locked in after that 10mins I went over to their house. Didn't she realise that it's so dangerous. And from what I was told by my SIL, she can climb up/down. Isn't that even more dangerous? I even had an ex-colleague leaving her child at home while she went out to nearby coffeeshop to have her meal. How careless some parents can be? No wonder we read about how some children can drown in pail of water; fall from windows etc.. sometimes even when parents are at home.
Now you know, I'm with the child every single minute of the day (of course KZ will take over for my pee break). Once Aricia don't get too edgy being in mom's place, I'll bring her over while I exercise.
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